Lets just start with LEAVE YOUR EX AT THE DOOR!
And let me explain to you why. That person is not in your life for a reason. Whether it be constant fighting or arguing. Maybe some infidelities or even the fact that they just didn’t grow with you as a person. Either way it goes what is the reason for holding ties.
The only answer I have ever come up with is there are still feelings involved. Why else would you need an ex on social media? What would be the purpose of “checking in” with an ex on how they are doing? I mean don’t get me wrong as humans, it’s natural for us to want the best for the people we used to love at a certain time in our lives, but I see no reason to keep ties to someone who couldn’t live up to the simple standards I set for myself.
If there are no children involved why is who your ex is dating or married to currently any of your concern? Not to mention how do you think that your current spouse feels about things like that? I’ll be the first to tell you I’M NOT HAVING IT! When I come into the picture any ex that you still have ties with needs to be gone or else, I’ll gladly remove myself. Especially if that person is more important than what you’re trying to build with me. Reason being is RESPECT! No one should have to walk into a relationship feeling as though they are competing with the past, they are constantly being compared to the past or even having the thought in their mind of possibly being the rebound.
This is where being called “insecure” comes into the picture. Sorry not all matters of demanded respect come from a place of insecurity. I feel if I’m building with someone then the focus should be 100% on me, teaching one another, and trying to have a better situation than we both may have experienced in the past. Not focusing on an interfering ex. Sure, there are couples that break apart mutually and are able to maintain a great friendship but at some point, that needs to be a door closed for another healthy one to open. It works both ways with men and women. It has become too common for exes among other things to be a determining factor in new relationships and taking into consideration how your partner feels is most important. Do yourself a favor for your own well being DEAD THE EX and let go of past baggage. Let’s face it, you can’t heal hanging on to what hurt you in the first place.