If someone asked me my opinion about long distance relationships a couple years ago my response would have been different than my response today. At this point in life, I have seen some long distance relationships fail and some succeed. I have been the shoulder to cry on when people have discovered infidelities and lies and I have been there to celebrate when the people have maintained healthy relationships regardless of the distance. At this point, I am not opposed to them.
Back in the day long distance relationships seemed ridiculous to me. I felt like:
Why would someone date someone far away when there are so many options in someone’s area?
How do people trust each other when they’re not physically around them?
I would especially judge people who dated people out of the country. It just seemed like people were setting themselves up for failure. However, I now feel that technology makes long distance relationships more reasonable. With tools like social media and video chatting you can get a good feel for how someone is, who their friends are, their mannerisms and personality. Back in the day all you had were phone calls and texts/ emails, but times have changed. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel like long distance relationships are inconvenient. They lack the physical aspect and many other things you can get from dating someone closer. But overall I think there is a lot of beauty in dating someone that is far away.
There are three types of long distance relationships. There are the ones that begin with the couple living close, there are the ones where the people meet on like a vacation or something and then there are the ones where the people have met through an online medium. I feel like most couples that end up moving apart usually don’t last, because they are so used to the physical aspect the distance ends up tearing them apart. I’m sure there is some cases where couples have remained strong, I just haven’t seen any.
Couples who meet online have never had the chance to rely on the physical aspect, so there relationship is built merely on communication. I think that for two people to fall for each other that have never met there has to be a pretty strong connection. It is rare to build a bond with someone and meet someone who understands you, so when people find that person I don’t think that they should ignore it based on location.
Most people opposed to long distance relationships bring up one word: Trust. People will argue “You don’t know what they’re doing out there,” but people be in people’s faces, spending time with them EVERYDAY and still will have others that they entertain. It all depends on the people involved. I used to think everything was black and white, but now that I am older I realize it isn’t. Are “All men cheaters?” No. Will all long distance relationships fail? No. Generalizations can not be made when dating. Someone who has cheated there entire life could turn over a new leaf for “the one.” Things change, people change and circumstances change. For that reason I am open minded and judge people’s relationships based on the two people involved and facts, not statistics.
Although I support long distance relationships, I would think someone is tripping if they make a relationship official before meeting in person. Sometimes people are different in person. I’ve had men I’ve met online who I’ve talked on the phone with and texted for hours at a time but once we’ve met in person there was no connection. But if two people like each other and finally meet in person and it is just as amazing, I say go for it! I also feel like I am more open minded because of my dating disasters. If I see someone 10 times a year instead of five days a week, but the person I am seeing only 10 times a year is loyal and treats me like a queen I’ll take that. It’s better than settling for POS men as significant others because they are convenient. I refuse. It really just depends on effort. If the two people make time to see each other, time to talk and can give each other that “feeling” from miles away I will be happy for them and support them. Like I said circumstances are temporary, they could be together for two years far away from each other and then move closer and last for a lifetime. Why let an obstacle like distance block you from your soulmate? I don’t agree with that. If someone can give you life more than people that you’ve physically spent time with GO FOR IT. Don’t worry about judgment, disapproval or people’s opinion. Only you and that person know the bond you have, everyone else is just on the outside looking in.
Queen Media Collective 