“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results”

~Albert Einstein

I am up at 2am. I am troubled right now and I have a lot on my mind. I could sit here and act like I’m perfect but I’m not and tonight is a rough night. I was planning on going to bed early tonight. Obviously that didn’t happen. I wanted to go to bed at 11PM but I got into an argument. The argument ended up being an hour long.

I have gotten into a lot of arguments in my life. I have been wrong and I have been right, but the argument I got into tonight really has me shook. Like I am so shook I think I am going to pull an all nighter which I have never done. I have never stayed up 24 hours and gone to work.

The argument ended with me getting hung up on. The person hung up on me due to my constant excuses and contradictions. I tried to defend myself when I was wrong and it ended up blowing up in my face. I literally keep crying because I realize how stupid that was. Sometimes I don’t know when to shut up and just admit when I am wrong. Right now someone extremely close to me is upset with me and I feel sick thinking about it. I am listening to “I Don’t Like Me” by K. Michelle and I am laying in the dark. Literally typing this and thinking about how much tomorrow is going to suck.

I need to change period point blank. I am tired of doing the same things over and over and I am starting to see myself as pathetic. As much as I have accomplished you would never imagine that I’d call myself pathetic. However, I really am. I do the same things over and over and get mad when someone calls me out about them. That is called insanity. In order to manage my emotions and life I will be blogging more. Trying to portray a life with no obstacles is just fake. I will be documenting the hard days like today to remind myself that I can’t stop and won’t stop. I feel so terrible. Pray for me guys ♡