Hey Y’all!!! Welcome back to another segment of The She Series, with me Sydney Reneé. If you’re new to the blog, The She Series is a look into my poetry books The Diary of She Vol. I & II.
Today I wanted to do something a tad bit different. A while back I had a book signing party and decided to record a few of my poems. I only ended up playing one or two but I did add them to soundcloud. The poem you will be listening to today is called Personally. When I wrote this poem I wanted to let the world know that I am not perfect, I fuck up and though I may have thought I was ready for love I wasn’t, which lead to a lot of lies and manipulation. It’s also an apology to the guys I’ve hurt.
I hope you enjoy!
My apologies to the men I’ve tricked into believing we’d
live happily-ever-after. I apologize for letting you eat up
the lies I served up but seeing the way you craved me
brought joy into my life. Sorry, I was too weak to cut the
strings attached to your heart. Instead, I strung you along
until they broke. It wasn’t you; it was me. My heart was
unavailable, but my mind was wide open to the idea of
love. I’m sorry but an idea was all that it was. It might
have been the right time for you, but my heart was the
wrong place for your love to live. It was dark, cold, and
slowly freezing over. The more you cared the less fucks I
gave. Physically, you could reach me, but mentally, I was
drifting off into space. As you struggled to hold on, I was
dying to break free. My apologies for not being the
woman I portrayed to be.