My Sexuality isn’t a Phase


I’m an educated bisexual African American millennial. However of all the titles I just used, you only question one—my sexuality. Some part of you needs validation for why I require both sexes for sexual satisfaction. Your mind wonders if I’m just sexually promiscuous, or if someone took advantage of me at an early age. You contemplate on if it’s just something I do for fun or which gender do I prefer over the other. You’ll even try to question my past sexual experiences to stroke your ego while simultaneously insinuating that  “I’m too attractive for that.” However, once those thoughts clear your mind of my “why”, you fetishize the very part of me that you had to validate. Questioning my sexuality will not help you solidify yours.

My sexuality isn’t a phase; it isn’t a transition due to failed relationships with men. The attractiveness of women has been since my high school years. The touch, the intimacy, and affection of a woman is unmatched. However, I also love the strength, intimacy, and protective nature of a man. Both provide me with life experiences that go beyond the bedroom. I’m just a women who loves the sexual satisfaction of both women and men. I love the intimacy of being with both genders and I do not prefer one over the other. I prefer the  same genuine energy exchange that any heterosexual or cis person seeks in a relationship. My sexuality isn’t something to be divided into percentages or into acceptable terms for you to understand. My interest in both sexes didn’t result from heartbreak, molestation, or for the need for new sexual experiences. My attraction is simply the beauty of the human beauty despite gender and societal norms. So why is that my sexuality has to be validated for it to be true? Stop thinking that my sexuality has to have a reason besides attraction. Also, please don’t think that my love for both sexes is a way to fulfill your long thought out fantasies. My identification as bisexual isn’t an open invitation to threesomes and doesn’t reflect my morals as a woman. My sexuality is not a bonus for you to indulge in at your leisure. It doesn’t make me easier to sexually engage with you either.

I’m confident in my sexuality and what I desire. My attraction to both sexes isn’t something I do because it’s trending or the latest hashtag. I genuinely love the vibes and experiences that I receive from both genders. I take pride in my sexuality without invalidating your “straightness” so please don’t say its just a phase.


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