Since I have been wrapped up in Reckless Behavior The Series, I haven’t blogged in a while. Therefore, I decided that it was time to give ya’ll an update.
In the beginning of quarantine, I wasn’t as pissed off as everyone else. I was actually happy to be able to work from home, save money on gas and have more time to focus on the planning of season two of my web series. I was a little irritated that I lost the three new jobs that I had just started in February, but ultimately I was content with being forced to stay in the house and have more time for myself. This was my mood from March til about May.
Now it is July and I find that I am frustrated as hell with the current state of the country. First of all, the fact that there is still no vaccine to the Coronavirus gives me so much anxiety. I initially thought that the pandemic and stay in place order would last for about two months and things would go back to normal. But now I realize that we are far from anything being anywhere close to normal. I currently feel very uncomfortable and uncertain about everything, but lately the pandemic’s affect on my finances is my main concern.
In one of the last blogs I wrote before the pandemic, I expressed how happy I was to have multiple jobs. After struggling to fund season 1 and subsequently obliterating my credit, I promised myself I wouldn’t be so fiscally irresponsible moving forward. Right after I started applying for jobs, I started an Indiegogo campaign to raise money for the show. Over the course of two weeks I received four job offers and after a month I raised $1,000! I was on a roll and feeling a lot more confident about how 2020 would play out.
Now I don’t feel confident about this year at all. I just started shooting my second season and once again I’m pinching pennies to make sure everything is taken care of. At first I was telling myself this too shall pass so there’s no reason to stress, but now I’m like will it? This pandemic is getting worse with everything opening back up and I haven’t heard a peep from any of my other jobs. I want to have faith and relax, but I feel like I’m drowning again. I know none of this is my fault and I was taking responsible steps to fix my credit, live financially stable and afford my creative endeavors, but it’s so inconvenient that this had to happen. I don’t want to seem dramatic, because I know that COVID has negatively impacted many peoples’ lives way worse than mine, but that doesn’t change how bummed I am about the fact that I basically took five steps forward and ten steps back.
Fortunately, besides my financial issues, everything else has been great. I have used this newfound time to build relationships, network and ensure that my execution of season two is a lot smoother than season one. I have become a better cook, started my fitness journey and overall just been feeling a lot more confident about the person I am. I don’t know how much longer this pandemic will go on, but I want to encourage everyone to stay positive and don’t let it keep you down. Use this time to reflect, grow and take care of yourself mentally. Most importantly, please stay safe. Just because things are opening back up does not mean that we should go back into the world like this pandemic is over. Keep in mind that things are only opening up again, because of the economy, not because it is safe. Thank you for reading and make sure to reach out if you ever need someone to talk to or would like some encouragement.