Earlier this year I was determined to find the perfect guy. I discovered an app called BLK, which was marketed as Tinder for black people. I downloaded the app and set my standards- must have a job, must be in early 30’s, must be taller than me, must have no kids. I was excited to see what men were out there.
The night I made my account I connected with someone. He lived ten min away from me so we immediately made plans to go grab dinner. We went to Panda Express and it didn’t go as well as I hoped it would. He literally brought up his daughter and how he was unable to see her because of her mother. I asked for more information and he said he didn’t want to share more, because it was complicated and he didn’t want to turn me off. I should of recognized that red flag and ran as fast as I could, but I decided to keep talking to him.
He kept trying to make plans with me and I wasn’t free until late evenings, so one day I just told him he could come over to my place. I explained that I was celibate and would not be sleeping with him, but we could watch a movie or something. He said that was fine and he didn’t care about sex, because he genuinely wanted to get to know me. Soon after he arrived we started to make out and he tried to go further. When I stopped him he got the BIGGEST attitude and turned over to go to sleep. I woke up and said good morning to him and he still had the BIGGEST attitude. He stormed out of my house and texted me a long paragraph about 30 min later:
“This is not going to work, because we are on two different pages and you are not mature. Even though I said I wanted to take it slow, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to have sex. Black women always trying to keep something from a black man.”
I couldn’t BELIEVE this man. The entitlement he possessed, especially after I gave the disclaimer that I was celibate made me feel so disgusted. I tried calling him so I could go off, but he ignored my calls and continued to project and pout via text. I contemplated texting back, but then I decided to block him and go about my life. This dude clearly had issues and I wasn’t going to entertain him any longer.
I created James McFadden to represent all the disrespectful men I have encountered throughout my lifetime. All the arrogant, misogynistic, assholes that do not respect women and probably never will. Its unfortunate that men like this exist, but I wanted to create James as an antagonist for Michaela, because I know that other women will be able relate and I want them to know they are not alone.