The Aftermath of Being Ghosted

Have you ever connected with someone? Not just on a physical level, I’m talking about talking (meh I’ll say texting) 24/7. Like it doesn’t bother you, it doesn’t irritate you, but to a point where not being in contact with them feels as though something is missing. You already most likely have trust issues with opening up to anyone and then you’ve poured open your soul to this person. They have done the same as well and you start pondering like damn why aren’t we making this official. You start getting those butterflies that you’ve always heard about but never experienced. You start debating on if you are serious and then you just say fuck it, you finna shoot your shot and risk it. You send that message like hey can we- and don’t get a reply. You wait but time starts going by and goes longer and longer. Then you try reaching out even more and find out that they no longer even have that number. The person that you were connecting with and become attached to has simply vanished.

Ghosting (v.)- Breaking off a relationship (often an intimate relationship) by ceasing all communication and contact with the former partner without any apparent warning or justification, as well as ignoring the former partner’s attempts to reach out or communicate.

You start questioning yourself going back and seeing if there was something that you may have done to push that certain person away. Then you enter what I like to call the “5 Finger Death Touch” which are simply the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You’re thinking to yourself why is he talking about the 5 stages of death and disconnecting with someone you were close to? Because as much as you try to deny and lie to yourself these are the same things that you did if this has ever happened to you.

First is denial, you start making up excuses oh something happened maybe they don’t have the money and their phone got shut off. Maybe they were with the shit and got caught up and now they are in jail. Maybe a fight broke out at some club and they got shot. You start making so much drama and BS in your head it sounds like a Tyler Perry script without the light skinned savior.

Second is anger, after you finally stop believing in your excuses you start to get mad at that person. How could they do that to you? Why would they do that to you? How dare that MF do that to me, do they know who I am? Woosah Left Eye (RIP). The 3rd is bargaining you start having little conversations in your head and sending prayers to Jesus on the main line. Lord I’ll do this if you bring that person back into my life, ancestors I’ll sacrifice two chickens and a goat if I can get a sign that they are at least safe.

Depression the good old stage 4, it starts hitting you that Jesus’ voicemail is full and your ancestors are more focused on your smart cousin in college, because they look better than you do.

Finally, is acceptance, the best one in my opinion. You finally realize that no matter what happens it doesn’t matter and your life will go on. If that person did this to you then you don’t even want them in your life. That is exactly how you should feel and how you should act. I’ve had this done to me a couple times and honestly issues like this hurt you. There has always been a deep quote from our elder sister Maya Angelou. “If someone tells you who they are, believe them.” It will hurt but life goes on and the world will continue to turn with or without them.



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