At this moment, this very moment in my life, there’s nothing that I can say I’m truly missing. I don’t feel stressed, I’m not worried about how much or how little money I have in my account, and most of all I’m not longing to be loved by a man. I don’t have many friends, but I have a family I enjoy spending all my time with. I don’t go out much, but I enjoy the stillness of my bed and the voices of children echoing through the house.
Some may look at me and say I’m living a boring life, but to me It’s what I’ve pretty much dreamed of. I get to work from home, I live in a beautiful neighborhood, with a home I can call my own. I get to spend more time with my son and walk him to and from school everyday. I don’t have to wake up at crazy hours just to get to work on time and then return home just to get ready for the next day. Not everyone has the luxury and it took me some time to realize that. Once I did I was able to confidently say, “I’m Happy!”
How many people can actually wake up and say, “I’m happy with my life!” and mean it? Not many I assume.
I noticed that people tend to long for more than they actually need; always reaching for more when they should be grateful for what they have now. At any given moment, life can be taken away from us and we would have missed it because we spent so much time focusing on what we could have had instead of what we actually have. I’ll admit I’ve been guilty of taking what I was given for granted, because I spent most of my time focusing on what I lost, which you can read more about in my article Trapped In My Past.
I’ve never actually sat and thought about how good I have it compared to others or how much I’m truly loved. I spent so much time looking at the people around me and how their lives were going that I forgot I had one of my own. It took my mom asking me “How do I feel?” for me to realize I was actually happy and feeling at peace. For the first time I didn’t even have to think about my answer. The words, “I’m happy,” slipped off my tongue with ease. For a moment I felt bad saying it because, I could see all the hurt others around me had been dealing with over the years. But one thing I learned over the years is that I can’t let anyone else’s pain stop me from feeling some joy. I can want better for them, but at the same time, I can also focus on myself. The minute I stop focusing on me I know my peace and happiness will quickly switch to loneliness and regret and I’m tired of taking the life I have now for granted.