Looking back at my story, I realized that I was built to last. I was built for more than the struggles that I faced. Looking at this past year, I realized how strong I am. I realized that life isn’t easy. Adulthood is INEVITABLE. Pain is TEMPORARY. Love is NECESSARY. Decision making is AWKWARD. Chances are RISKY. Every aspect in life has built me to become a better person.
This semester has taken every emotion to the max. From anger to tears, to happiness, to reluctant, being a full time student throughout a pandemic has truly stripped everything that I am. Things that I’ve done such as staying up late and studying, asking other people what I should do with my life, procrastinating. Doing these things took me to the point where I didn’t care anymore.
In May, the end of the semester was here. I couldn’t be more relieved. However, when the end of the semester came, I had a lot of mixed emotions. I was happy that I got all A’s but I still felt empty. I couldn’t describe the emptiness I felt after the semester ended. Yet, like I said before, these emotions was NECESSARY.
Getting back home, I cried. Not because I left college, but I felt like I failed as an adult. I failed as a person. I failed to be who I was meant to be. But I learned. It wasn’t that I failed. It wasn’t that I didn’t become the person I was meant to be. It was that all of this were lessons for my adulthood. These were lessons that I found to be resourceful and refreshing. I didn’t fail, I LEARNED. I learned and now I’m ready to see what the world has for me.
Now, being the person I am getting back to, I’m learning to love myself all over. I’m learning to see the best parts of me. I learned that God is still faithful, even when I’m not. If it wasn’t for God, I would still have that emptiness. If there is anyone who has ever felt like this. Felt like there was no hope. No happiness. That pain is TEMPORARY. The love that surrounds you is greater than any emptiness you feel. And if you feel like nobody loves you, I do. I may not know you physically, but I love you. And I am proud of you.