9BE27E72-8553-40FF-8B54-B09F069B08D4.pngAm I the only woman that thought something was wrong with you because you could never seem to orgasm? Yea me too….

So when I was in high school I met my first love , my first heartbreak, my first…..everything. He was tall, light bright, and was wanted by everyone because he had a highly followed YouTube page where him and all his friends would post jerking videos…. yea I was in high school during that era. I don’t even really remember how we met or any of those details but he was so fine to me and we started spending every day together after school. My mom hated him…. Eventually he started telling me he loved me and we all know what young impressionable church girls do next. He ended up moving away, getting a girl pregnant  coming to a party on my side of town, cheating on his gf with me, ghosting me, and then messaging me on Facebook two years later to tell me why. According to him, the girl found out about me and told him she’d keep his daughter from him if he remained in contact with me. And you know what my stupid self did next? Started talking to him again .

Eventually we got to the point where I told him that the next time I was going to be in town from college we’d get together and talk. Per our normal routine, we met in the park and then walked together to his grandma’s house . Neither one of us drove and Uber didn’t exist then. His grandma spoke to me as always, told him to make me some food, and then went to her room and left us in the living room ….. one thing lead to another and I was in the air being carried to this room, not the cheesy honeymoon way tho. Anyway, within seconds my clothes were off and he started going down on me. Kid you not he probably was down there for an hour. I vividly remember my legs shaking like crazy and me hitting him in the head with my knees multiple times, eventually he just held my legs down and kept going as I shook and cried and shook and cried. You know that Lil’ Wayne lyric where he’s like

Eat her til she cry , call that whine and dine….

Yes that was me. I felt my soul leave my body a good five times but he just wouldn’t stop. When he finally came up for air, there was white stuff all over his mouth. I just looked at him confused and then he pointed to my legs to show me he made me cum. I didn’t even know that was possible. It was the weirdest thing, because I was mad at myself for being there with him in the first place.. I’m 19 at this point, in college, just joined my sorority, and he’s a drug dealer, living in the same town with two kids by two different women. I loved him, missed him, and hated him all at the same time… but at the same time I was amazed that my body could even do that. I was so grateful for that sexual experience. I knew that would be the last time I spoke to him though, he was too fertile and Lacey did not have time for being a teen mom. I went back to school and started acting like most young Greeks that get all this new attention act… a fool. But nobody, nothing compared to him. There was no foreplay no lead-up, no tension. We just did what we did and we were done.

Until one day I was sick of being the one pleasing others and not pleasing myself and I took matters into my own hands . One of my coworkers was telling me how much more pleasurable it was to sleep with her girlfriend than her ex-boyfriend and all these things about women not being satisfied by vaginal sex alone … so I started exploring and I cracked the code. I MADE MYSELF CUM.

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The best part? It didn’t cost me any emotional energy and it only took about 5-15 minutes depending on how long it took me to find a video I actually liked .

And guess what? Unless the men were just complete TRASH, after I learned how to do it myself, it became very rare someone else couldn’t be taught. The moral of the story?

If you’re a heterosexual male, no matter what skills you think you have, no matter how many orgasms she fakes – which is the dumbest thing a woman can do in my opinion, if you walk away satisfied and she didn’t … she slept with you … you have no right to say you slept with her 🤷🏽‍♀️(replace the phrase slept with with the curse word for more effect).

If you’re a homo or heterosexual female who thinks you’re broken …. until you figure it out yourself you’ll never be able to teach someone else .

But P.S. Sexual Transmitted Diseases aren’t the only STDs there’s also Spiritually Transmitted Diseases . There’s also habits you learn and bad interpretations you make about love. There’s also pieces of you floating around with strangers and emotional damage other people had that now is attached to you. For example, I met the same man with a different name far too many times. Protect your body but also protect you energy.

Signed, a girl that’s been going strong with her abstinence for 3 months for the 100th time, but is taking it seriously serious this time. Love and Light.

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