woman-looking-in-mirror.jpgA couple days ago I was informed that someone referred to me as “ugly.” I was literally told this via text message and I literally dropped my phone after I read it. Now don’t get me wrong, I have been called ugly before, but this one cut deep. The person who said it is somebody I went on a date with around five years ago. The person told me that this person said verbatim “Michaela is ugly, I am ashamed I even entertained going on a date with her.” 

I know everyone has their preferences, but to call someone “ugly” because you aren’t attracted to them is so rude. The thing that made me the most upset is that this person had met me in person before and was well aware of what I looked like. However, they still asked me on the awkward ass date we went on. The person that revealed to me what was said only said it out of anger. He knew that would hurt me and he did it on purpose. I would be lying if I said I didn’t cry when I found that out. It also hurt me, because even if I am “ugly” I have so much to offer as a person. It disgusts me how much of a factor looks are. I have dated people I wasn’t as attracted to on multiple occasions and I have always been open minded to individuals who I can connect with. I don’t consider myself having a physical “type”, because those limitations can keep you from finding your soulmate.

I stood in my kitchen and cried for two hours until I came to my senses and thought, what the hell am I crying for? That’s not the first person who has called me ugly and that won’t be the last. Lately I have been re-watching the BET series Being Mary Jane, because it has been extremely therapeutic in regards to everything I have been going through. The episode where she steals a white man’s parking spot and he calls her an “ugly black bitch” and a “monkey” is the first thing that came to mind when I read that text message. I consider myself fairly insecure, but even the most confident woman would be hurt by those words. A lot of people already struggle with loving themselves and the skin they are in so why would you kick the dog while it’s down?

I have come a long way as far as loving myself. I always felt like being dark skinned, I already had a disadvantage, but as I’ve gotten older and more informed I know that lighter is not always better. So thank you to the asshole who called me ugly and is ashamed to have went on a date with me. Me hearing this information and seeing how it triggered me made me realize I still have some work to do as far as self love. I hope that all my kings and queens can disregard any negative comments that come your way and continue to live your best life like I plan on doing.