My Life Be Like, poetry

Blacked Out

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I am black and that can never be b l a c k e d o u t. I know my skin and my voice is to be hated among many. But my lips and the way I move my hips as I dance to the Africa sun in my soul is to be bought and traded. I know that you like the music and gold that bleed from our feet as we walked a path only paved for our destruction. I know that even if we were to #riseup that level would still be under you. You got your foot on my head. Your knee on my neck. #icantbreathe you’ve got your dick on my back and your hand over my mouth. #Metoo now l’ve got a gun to my head and a helicopter as my halo as I enter heaven. Let’s play a game where only I can win and I get to kill you if you try and fail. Why am I too discussing for you to sit with me at dinner or to play with on vacation but you can’t pay for me to come an sit my fat lips on your face? You can offer to suck all my dark berry juices but can’t make a ballot for me to vote on? You can build a separate waterfall for me to drink from and hang me and my babies from a tree and still allow us to cook and clean your home and breastfeed your babies. Did you know that when the master puts you to bet in that big ‘ol house he comes out back and grabs at my big ole’ breast? He has to use both hands to hold one tittie. He grabs my thick thighs and squeezes my curvy hips. He puts his hand over my full plump lips. He wakes me up smacking my chunky round ass as he reaches for a tea kettle that is whistling from a stove top he stole. He tries to fill me up with freedom, hope and dreams just to finish his mission without mine ever being able to start. He demands that l pay him now…so l go and change his baby Karen’s diaper and feed her the same nipple her father just got done suckling. She grows up bitter and resentful of any brown boy looking like the one she was told that hurt her. Little black boy stay home. I know your angry. Little black girl calm down a second to process your thoughts. I know you wanna yell and I know you want to scream but your voice can only be heard through reason. Your voice will not be accepted through violence and hate. I know that you’re fed up and at this point you want change that you’re willing to bleed for. I admire your courage but I ask you a little brown girl and little brown boy to use your wisdom. I ask you to use the brain that they have tried to destroy, use the soul they tried to break to come up with a new plan. Little brown boy, don’t be afraid get excited because change is happening #blackouttuesday.

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