I haven’t updated you in months, so I figured it’s about that time. First and foremost, thank you to everyone who has supported me and watched Reckless Behavior The Series!!! It has gotten over 10k accumulative views so far and I have gotten way more positive feedback than I anticipated. I was so nervous about this project coming out, because it is my first one and I didn’t know if people would vibe with it. But hearing everyone’s thoughts and opinions regarding the show has made me feel very proud and accomplished.
Outside of the show coming out, I have been very stressed out due to, take a guess… my finances. I went into the new year planning to really focus on saving my money and lo and behold I get a notice wedged between my door about rent going up $150 (I touched on this briefly in my last blog). I immediately started freaking out and re reading the words on the paper as if they were going to change. I could barely afford my current rent, averaging at about $500 to spare per month after paying all my bills. Now rent was going up and they communicated it to me a month before the end of my lease. I felt like there was only one logical solution… to get another job. For a second I thought about moving elsewhere, but the thought of investing energy into looking for a less expensive place in the Bay Area with a month to spare seemed like a waste of time.
The thought of getting another job sucked for many reasons:
- Less free time
- Goodbye weekends (my first job is only M-F)!
- Less sleep
- Less time for my creative endeavors
- Less sleep!
But there were also many pros:
- I could pay off my credit cards
- More vacations
- I could afford to get my hair and nails done regularly
- I could start a savings
- I would have emergency money
- I could pay my dad back for helping me out
- I could fund creative endeavors
Despite my rent increase, I dwelled on the cons and decided it was best to continue to only work one job. It wasn’t until I was hanging out with one of my best friends that my tune changed. I broke down my finances to her, she looked me in the eye concerned and told me that even though I didn’t want to, I needed to get a second job. Initially I huffed and puffed, but once January ended I started to apply to whatever jobs I could find. Although I wanted to be picky, I was desperate and could not continue to live like this.
Last month my show was accepted into the Pan African Film Festival, the largest and most prestigious black film festival in America. Although I had no money, I was determined to attend the festival and not miss out on this amazing opportunity. While I have no regrets, and it was a valuable and memorable experience, the aftermath caused me to evaluate my entire life. Here I was broke broke, barely able to pay my bills, but I still went on a vacation where I was Ubering around and purchasing food in hopes that my card didn’t decline. I felt pathetic and downright stupid that I let myself get in this position. Everyone was “so proud of me” but had no idea how quitting my job two years ago to focus on being a creative/ entrepreneur had affected me life long term. I have four credit cards that are all maxed out, a terrible credit score and no savings whatsoever. I thought of how I used to make it a point to always have at least $1k saved in case of emergencies… the last year and a half I have had nothing.
Now let’s fast forward to today. About an hour ago I received an email from my fourth job asking if I can start Monday. I received job offers from four companies in a span of two weeks and I started to feel something I hadn’t felt in a while… control. While debating on which job I should accept, I decided I didn’t want to turn down any potential additional income. Some may say its greed, but I consider it a fool proof plan to ensure that I reach financial stability. While it’s unfortunate I have to overextend myself, it kind of just is what it is. If it feels like too much and the burn out is real, I will definitely scale back. But as of right now, I plan to ride it out and bring in as much money as I can. Desperate times call for desperate measures and like my Papa always told me, you can sleep when you die. Thank you for still rockin’ with me and I hope your year is off to a great start.