Monogamy or Polygamy? Part III

Wow, thank you for reading my last article on monogamy or polygamy! I was focused on these relationships with two women and one man; however, I’m going to show the ladies some love throughout this article. I will talk about the pros and cons of these relationships, and if two men and one woman can have a successful relationship. I’m going to say yes, they can if the two men and woman are all on the same page; and I will argue that the relationship would be smoother if the men were bisexual. Furthermore, if you look at the black community, many of these relationships are already going on throughout society. Some women have multiple men at their leisure, with the men who know what’s going on more often than not. I’m personally not bisexual and wouldn’t pursue this relationship due to some concerns of mine that I will discuss throughout this article. However, I know that this dynamic can be successful with the right trio. I’m going to go out on the deep end and say that this type of relationship could work with two straight men and a straight woman as well, but there might be some complications in the relationship.

The pros of this dynamic would be having two male perspectives in the household with a woman balancing out the energy with her feminine side, unless one of the men is feminine as well. You would be able to raise your kids with different perspectives; and would challenge the social norm which I’m not opposed to seeing. If the men were bisexual the relationship would run smoother in my opinion since they could all have their sexual rendezvous together, and not separately. This could help seal the bond within this type of relationship and keep it an inclusive monogamous polyamorous relationship. Economically speaking this relationship would have the potential to house the trio and “kids” if they chose on having them quite well. If honesty were incorporated throughout the relationship, I wouldn’t see an issue with it at all.

The cons of this type of relationship would be honesty. I know I will get some flack for this, but these types of relationships have been happening secretly in the black community for numerous generations. I know men who essentially “share” women or “pass them on to my mans” all the time. The funny thing is that some of these men think that they are fooling these women, but they are getting played themselves. If Jessica has Tyrone taking her to McDonald’s on Monday before they have sex, then Jeff spoiling her with Red Lobster but with no sex or sex sometimes; then who is winning? Tyrone and Jeff are joking about how they are sleeping with the same woman, but Jessica is essentially playing them both with free meals, and different strokes that turn into jokes with her girls at the club on Friday. I personally can’t and refuse to share any women I’m sleeping with knowingly. However, to each is their own.

We got through the pros and cons, and I will let you come to your own conclusion on if this type of dynamic could work. I personally couldn’t be in this type of relationship because I’m only attracted to women. I also don’t want to share any woman with another man. Hypothetically speaking if I was in a relationship like this with another straight man then when would I be sleeping with her? Are we doing arrangements like Tyrone and Jeff, because I won’t be in the same room while another brother is getting it on with Keisha? Furthermore, if Keisha gets pregnant, we’re going to have to get the baby tested to see who’s baby it is. Maybe this might be sexist to some reading this article, but I refuse to willingly share a woman, and a baby/babies with another man. Therefore, I would pursue a relationship with two women so that I would know that the babies are mine, and so I could be with all two of them in and out of the bedroom.

Just because I have a different opinion about these types of relationships doesn’t mean that two straight men and one straight woman couldn’t make it work. I believe that they could work out with the right people who are willing to make it work. There would have to be honest communication, guidelines, and planning throughout this relationship, but it could work out. If they were all living in the same house how would this relationship work? Would you have two separate rooms, and how would they have children with each other? There would be a lot of questions that need to be answered throughout this type of relationship before it even starts. Would Keisha try to have kids with both of these men, or would she leave it up to chance with each kid? That is something I will have to leave to them.

Thank you for reading this far in my article. I loved writing about this topic and will be diving into the millennial experience as a black man in my next series. My next article will focus on my generation, social media, post-college, and a few other things my generation deals with daily. I’m so excited to get your feedback on this article, so feel free to direct message me on either of my Instagram’s @evinscam and @camevins!


2 thoughts on “Monogamy or Polygamy? Part III

  1. I do think that these type of relationships have been in existence for a long time, but are just now being brought to the light. Personally, its not for me. I am a firm believer in monogamy. Like you, I’m not knowingly sharing my man with another woman. Thank you for your insight.


    1. Thank you for reading my article Shannon! Yes, I agree, we have many secrets in the black community that are coming to light now. I appreciate your comment, you’re welcome.


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