I have always been one to be fairly quiet. Keeping my emotions in and allowing others around me to use their words to get me down. Mostly for two reasons;
1. I did not want to have confrontation with anyone (verbally or physically).
2. I felt that because I had so much built up, no one would care to listen when I finally did get a word in.
Until I noticed that people began to constantly disrespect me, call me names and talk to me any sort of way. It took so much out of me trying to decide if I needed to be the bigger person and not allow what or how someone said things get to me. Or should I let them have it? I made the choice to LET THEM HAVE IT. Anytime I felt an ounce of disrespect I made sure to speak my mind. No matter how rude it was or hurtful it may have been, I made sure to let someone know about themselves. What I wasn’t doing when I was; “ making my point.” I wasn’t letting others know exactly what was being said that was bothersome to me.
It came to a point that I was constantly being called crazy and explosive because of the way that I was delivering my point. I was even looked at as, “ hard to talk to”. These things absolutely started to hurt my feelings because the only thing that I was trying to accomplish was defending myself. Yet, with defending myself came isolation. I felt as though there was no need to be around people who couldn’t handle the truth .
The truth in what they were doing to me, how they were making me feel, and also the fact that there was a way to talk to people. Going through this helped me to learn that there is a way to “ tell it like it is.” Not everyone takes in information the same way, something that may offend me may not offend another person. It is up to us to take the time to realize who we are talking to and also be active listeners. Especially when we are trying to get our point across to someone. The point in any conversation is to ensure that we are listening for understanding and not listening to disrespect the way that someone feels or their beliefs. Even if we don’t share the same feelings as them .
Being the bigger person sometimes means that people should be told only once how they to address you in certain situations. And if they can’t and they continue the same behavior, it is up to us to not react. Reactions are clearly what they are looking for. I never realized until I got a bit older that our reaction to someone else’s behavior sometimes is what makes small situations bigger than they need to be .
To be the bigger person it to be mindful of yourself and the way you react to things, how to go about them in a mature manner, and STILL being able to “ Tell it like it is.”
Queen Media Collective 