When I left work Friday I felt very anxious. My palms were sweaty and I felt like I was going to be sick. Did I make the right decision?
Before I left for the weekend Friday, I decided to email my boss and ask her for a raise. Although I just got a raise in July (and I am very grateful for that) I have been extremely stressed since I got promoted. My workload has doubled and the expectations have been extremely high. I knew this would happen, but my problem with my job is that my boss has expectations when she has not been training me properly. She basically delegates tasks to me and expects me to figure it out. I have been put in various uncomfortable situations where I’ve had to either sink or swim and I honestly don’t appreciate that. I am the type of person that wants to be trained and taught to do things step by step. I mean ideally that’s what we all want, but some people handle high pressure situations better than others. I tend to have a lot of anxiety so the situations I have been put in the last two months have been extremely frustrating. A lot of times I find myself crying and thinking about work when I’m at home, because I am so frustrated. It is not because the work is hard, because it isn’t. However, I do feel like the amount of work I am doing and what is expected of me does not quite equal my salary.
I have never asked for a raise before. I fear rejection and I never wanted to seem greedy and ungrateful to any of my bosses. However, I’ve had an epiphany (thanks to my boyfriend and my best friend) and now I’m like fuck that. Most of these employers don’t care about us AT ALL. When I made my decision to speak up I also thought about the meme below:
This meme is so true! There is no point in stressing over ANY job. At the end of the day I am helping fulfill someone else’s dream. Property management isn’t my passion and never has been. The only reason I am working here is so my bills can get paid. I accepted the option to be promoted, because who wouldn’t? I am 25 and I have goals; I want to buy a house within the next ten years, I want to stop living from check to check and I want to be able to pay off my student loans. Is that too much to ask for? Apparently yes.
When I asked my boss for a raise she tried to act like she didn’t understand my request or why I feel so overwhelmed. That was such a slap in the face. I feel like she thinks I’m twiddling my thumbs all day and being overzealous asking for more money. Not to mention she’s been out of the office due to medical issues, so now my training has been via phone calls and emails that aren’t as clear and concise as they should be. I am very grateful to be employed, don’t get me wrong. I know that there is a lot of money in the property management field and that I have my foot in the door to be successful.
But at the end of the day this job has consumed me so much that I have strayed away from my passions. I don’t write as much and I haven’t been thinking of my business plan, because I have just been so damn exhausted. But now I am back brainstorming and plotting, because I can’t keep working for someone else and not continue to work on me, that’s whack AF. After some emails back and forth where I basically had to convince my boss that I should be getting paid more (such bullshit) she agreed to give me a review in a few weeks.
Honestly I don’t know how this will play out LOL. My boss is the least predictable person I know so this might work out in my favor or it might not. However, I am glad I found the courage to stick up for myself regardless of what happens. If I don’t get what I want I will look for something else, but regardless of where I am working, I have promised myself I won’t let ANYTHING distract me from my dreams.
This is a very intrusive post, but I felt like it could inspire someone who fears rejection like me. Know your worth, stand up for what you believe in and if you don’t succeed, oh well. We will all take L’s at some point in our lives but at least you’ll know you tried and spoke up as opposed to passively letting unfavorable situations unfold.