On New Years Eve me and Lina met Sebastian and his friends at a rave in Oakland. That night ended up being a total disaster. His friends were being annoying AF and he and I ended up arguing over something stupid… at that moment I knew 2016 would be a shit show.
Since I lived so close now, I ended up spending a lot of time with Sebastian. I got a new full time office job, so after I got off work at 4:30PM, I would just head over to Sebastian’s house. At this point he had transitioned into a loser: He had gotten two DUI’s in the same month, he quit his job as an EMT, he barely attended class and he was riding a bike instead of the Impala he had when we met… I couldn’t believe how his life was going downhill. I had just gotten my degree and my boyfriend was doing nothing with his life… I started to wonder if that was where I wanted to be.
Out of the blue more sus things started happening. Women were texting Sebastian’s phone calling him baby, I found some panties in his room and more “receipts” started to come in. Sebastian would sit in my face, look me in my eyes and lie about everything I found. It got so bad that we ended up physically fighting on a regular basis. I couldn’t stand how he could stand in my face and lie to me. He made me feel crazy and he manipulated me to make it seem like he was the victim. I am not a confrontational person and I am not a fighter, but him standing there looking me in my face lying made me lose it. We would get into physical altercations almost once a week… it was bad.
On Memorial Day Sebastian asked me to help him shoot a music video. I had just bought a new camera two weeks prior so I was excited to use it and help him out. Long story short we ended up getting robbed by two random black men who were posted at the coliseum (check out this post for details). I didn’t mention this in that blog post, but Sebastian blamed me for our cameras getting robbed. I couldn’t believe he was blaming this on me when he should of never stopped and entertained these thugs. The entire time Sebastian was conversing with these men, me and his friend Nico were urging him to drive off, but he didn’t listen. Once he blamed me I started going off on him and he told me he would punch me if I didn’t shut up. I couldn’t believe he had threatened me. Once this happened I was mentally gone. He apologized, but he still would bring up why I didn’t do something to stop the cameras from being stolen. He felt like “Any other girl” would of known to throw the cameras in the backseat of the car. However, I reiterated that I didn’t give a damn about those cameras when there was someone standing in front of us with a gun with a 30 bullet extendo. At this point, I was disgusted by him.
At the end of July I was at work and I happened to randomly check my message requests on Facebook. I had a message sitting there from January from a girl named Janika. I had seen this name pop up in Sebastian’s phone but he told me that she was just his friend. To make matters worse, I had even walked up to Sebastian and Janika having a conversation at one of his parties. The conversation looked super intense, so I walked up to introduce myself. After that encounter, Sebastian claimed that Janika was just his friend and she needed relationship advice. I wanted to question her and do the most, but I didn’t want to be the crazy girlfriend if they really were just friends. So like many other things, I let it go. This girl had messaged me back in JANUARY and it was now JULY 21ST. I opened the message and it read:
“Hi Michaela, I am messaging you, because I have been sleeping with Sebastian and I feel like really bad. I had my friend follow you on Instagram and I realize that you are Sebastian’s girlfriend despite what he was telling me. I am going to stop sleeping with him, but I just had to come to you as a woman and let you know.”
I couldn’t believe it. This whole time Sebastian had been cheating on me with this girl and he had the audacity to have her at the same party as me?! That bastard. I asked Janika for all the proof she had and she came through. There was a picture of them under the blanket I bought him, there was a pic of them were he was holding his phone which had the phone case on it I had just bought him and there was texts where she was asking about me and he claimed that I was his “crazy ex who wouldn’t move on” I was sick to my stomach! I started crying and I asked my boss if I could leave for the day… it was just too much.
What I was trying to figure out was how did Sebastian have time to cheat? I was spending the night and chillin’ with him 5 days a week. Janika ended up telling me that she would spend the night twice a week. At this point I couldn’t even breathe. I felt like a damn fool.
Basically Sebastian had met this chick on Tinder around the same time he met me and he continued to talk to her after we made it official. This girl told me that she would drive from San Jose twice a week to see him and that he never went to see her or spent any money on her. The fact that my boyfriend really had a side chick the entire time we were together made me sick to my stomach. Janika and I started to go back and forth about different scenarios and everything added up perfectly. There was nothing he could do to get himself out of this one… nothing. I called Sebastian and went off about what I had found out and of course he did what men do best: deny, deny, deny.
He told me the text messages were fake and the pictures were old, which was obviously BS cause the blanket and phone case I fuckin’ bought were right there!Even when I said this, he called me dumb for believing her. This manipulating son of a bitch started saying “If you want to be dumb and believe a 20 year old girl you’re dumber than I thought”. He hung up the phone in my face like he always did when he didn’t want to hear what I had to say, so I proceeded to block him on every social media website and in my phone. There was nothing else to say, this man cheated and got caught and I was DONE.
Sebastian was always accusing me of cheating. Not a day went by when he didn’t accuse me of something and it all made sense once I spoke with ole girl: he was cheating on me this whole time and the cheater always accuses the other person. I was so over the fighting, the arguments and him controlling me. I prayed to God and I repeatedly told my best friend Quincy that I just wanted obvious proof that he was cheating and I’d be done with him forever. That day I finally got my proof and I felt relieved.
You’d think that someone who made me completely devestated and hurt me this bad would leave me alone and take the L right? No. The aftermath of the break up was the most dramatic thing I’ve ever experienced…