You Ain’t The Reason

There has been this common misconception that women can/have “changed“ a man. There is almost a gloating when a woman has dealt with a childish man, his lies, cheating and emotional immaturity and then he one day changes. The sad truth behind this, that I do not think women sometimes realize is that the credit we take for said changes is not ours to take. Men change because they want to change for THEMSELVES and not YOU. Now I know how some of you girls like to tussle so let me go in a little bit deeper on what I mean.

For instance, if you are allowing a man to do wrong by you in any sense of the word then you have caused yourself a problem. YOU have created the tone for this situation and he thinks that this behavior is okay because YOU let him know that you are willing to accept this. 

Now the acceptance factor comes in by taking him back over and over. Because he says he will “change” and no ma’am that man has NOT changed what he has done is become better at how he moves with these infidelities so that you and Side Chickiana steer clear of one another. He has also presented a circus of oohs and ahhs to make you think that his changes are in order to keep you. What he has really done is adapted to your lack of self worth and adjusted what he needed to in order to stay in a clown performance of fuckery that makes you think it’s because of you he is doing better.

The hard reality is a man ONLY and I mean ONLY changes for himself and ONLY when he is ready. Now when he does change it is because he has understood that he has lacked some personal self value and that eventually clowns must retire and grow up. We as women absolutely reap the benefits of these changes but we have to stop believing that they are for us. WE have to understand that a man bases his self worth (in most occasions not all) around the things he has INDIVIDUALLY done that does not have a woman or anyone else attached to them. 

I say all of this to say, it does not make you less of a woman or any less valuable because a man makes changes that are not centered around you. But the goal is to 1. Humble thyself and understand that a lot of men’s issues pre change we play a major part in, and 2. If a man is not ready to act right after you teach him the RIGHT way to treat you then ma’am do what’s best for YOU. 

But hey if after reading my opinion, then we can tussle 🙂


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