Pleasure and Pain: Part 1

Watching them kick the front door in was satisfying but not as gratifying as seeing his face when he began to realize what was going on. You see, I had spent five months watching how he moved. I knew his ins, his outs, and his patterns. I knew his strengths, but he forgets that I also knew his weaknesses. I knew exactly how he operated in the streets. So that’s why this execution has to go perfectly. I can’t afford a slip-up; one slip-up means that the block would be hot all summer. It was time for the answers that the streets wouldn’t give me. He always said get it back in blood, and by the time I was done, I would have enough blood for the hood to know not to play with my heart.

Two weeks earlier…

I should have left him at the first red flags, but I was invested in him. Now, here I was crying in the car because he had broken me into a million pieces. After five months, he dropped me like I was nothing. I was left with undeliverable texts and his hoodie that I couldn’t seem to let go of yet. This man had dropped me without even a call, text, or a clue as to what I’d done to deserve this. His silence was deafening, and in such a small town, I knew I would see him. In my mind, I knew that my life was fine before I ever knew of his existence. However, at this moment, I just wanted to breathe him in. I just wanted to be wrapped in his arms one last time. With a drop of a pen, he took those moments from me. I knew that his feelings didn’t just go away overnight. Just two days ago, we were waking each other up with morning sex. How could that shit have changed so quickly? 

The knock-on my car window snapped me back to reality. My puffy eyes looked up to see my best friend with my favorite comfort food. She knew this moment was a new low for me. I had never been the type to stress over a guy. Yet, here I was, ready to drive my car into the bayou that was in front of me. I unlocked the car door for what I knew would be a defining moment in my life. 

“You’re better than this Necia,” she said.

“I know, but I truly do like him. I’m just so confused,” I said. 

“Life happens, and you of all people should know this. This is a moment in your life, not your whole life,” she sighed. 

Ash had been my best friend since we were two, and I knew this moment was just like all the others. We cry together, we create a plan, and we execute it. However, this time I had two plans to execute—getting back to myself and getting even. 


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