It’s been awhile since I’ve given you a look into one of my poems from my book The Diary of She – Vol. II. Today’s poem is entitled Writings On The Wall. I wrote this during a time when I was weak and willing to deal with almost anything to keep the person I was with happy. To everyone who looked at us, they would have thought the relationship was as close to perfect as it could get, as most people do, but if they could see the writings on the wall they would know how broken and worthless I felt. It was up to me to see myself out of that situation and rewrite my story.
Hope you enjoy!
I was willing to be his punching bag when he came home feeling like everyone was against him including me.
As long as he wasn’t physically putting his hands on me, I felt safe.
What was that saying growing up?
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
Yeah, I believed those words as a child, and I stuck to them.
Then one day, I felt different.
I was looking in the mirror and what I saw wasn’t me.
Every cruel thing he had ever said to me and every harsh name he ever called me were staring back at me smiling.
Worthless, stupid, ugly, nothing, slut, bitch, idiot, waste of space, failure…
They won; he won.
The words had taken over and made me believe that was who I had become.
It was going to take some time to dig through all that filth and find myself again.
First, I had to figure out how to stop giving in.