- Cuffing does not necessarily mean marriage .
- Drafting/Practice (FOR ME) is growing feelings for, spending extensive time getting to know, and being physically intimate with someone. At this stage of my growth, I personally do not desire to give a title or my body to someone who I wouldn’t want to be raising my kids and running life with me.
It’s the holiday season and yes auntie I’m still single 🙄
I don’t know what it is , but at every holiday gathering or anytime I see a certain lady from my church I’m always asked :
Who are you dating? When are you going to introduce me to your boyfriend ? Are you getting married soon? Blah blah men talk blah blah.
Goodness can that be EXHAUSTING!
I lied , I do know why as young women we get those questions so much. I acknowledge that it’s getting better, but across many cultures a woman’s worth is only validated by the speed in which a man confirms it by cuffing her. Women internalize this and then pass that belief on to their daughters.
When I met my first love at 15, I just knew he was IT, just the PERFECT guy for me. Even at that young age, I thought I was auditioning to be everyone’s wife that I shared an intimate moment with. In retrospect, that was a very dangerous idea to have. I could spend time with someone who had no intentions for me outside of physical and convince myself they just might be my husband, so guess what, I would put up with things I for sure wouldn’t tolerate for a second today. I had the unrealistic belief that most young women who grew up like me had, maybe not in this exact timeline but you get the concept :
Engaged by 24, married by 25, have a year to enjoy being married, get pregnant, have my first kid by 27/28 and then stay pregnant until I was ready to stop having kids so I could get the hard days all out of the way at once. Well, I’m 24 and unless something miraculous happens, that timeline is definitely not going to happen. If you have or had a similar idea, its okay that it did not pan out how you envisioned. Life is more than timelines.
Now that I’ve been more focused on my own personal growth and less focused on men, amongst other reasons, I’m ANTI – CUFFING SEASON!!! I’m not drafting, scouting, or putting anyone on practice teams. I’m not bitter, I don’t need to post on Instagram a bunch of blems on why someone should “pick me”, and I for sure don’t have time to waste swiping left right up or down. I occasionally go on dates, and I have amazing male relationships in my life. BUT, right now, I just want to cuff ME, satisfy ME, help ME accomplish MY dreams, support ME and love ME. I spent too many of my foundational years giving bricks away to people to build a house for someone else. I’m building my own house.
Maybe there are a bunch of great guys out there waiting for me but I just do not think I am in a place to be ready for that. BUT if God sent me someone and we chose each other tomorrow, so be it. If I go on a date and its magical and love at first sight, so be it. But I don’t think you can really focus on a growing start-up company and another human being at the same time – they both need too much attention! But again, like I implied earlier, telling God your plans is always a sure way to make him laugh.
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