Dear Future Husband,
I am writing this at 10 pm at night completely in my feelings, so excuse the sappiness. A lot of times I tell people that I don’t want to get married. I tell people that I will be fine being rich and alone in a huge house, completely independent. Of course this is a defense mechanism. Everyone knows how bad my relationships usually go, so I convinced myself that maybe a relationship isn’t for me.
I am a true believer that getting married and having a family isn’t for everyone. In reality, we all want the American Dream, but we won’t all get it. I am not trying to be pessimistic, I just want to be real. However, if it is God’s will for me to get married, I will gladly accept it and live the life I dream of.
When I dream of you, I imagine you to be very tall, very goofy and very ambitious. I want someone as motivated as me, but still goofy and able to laugh. Laughter is very important to me. I have used laughter to cope with bullying, to get out of awkward situations and just because. If you can not take a joke or make me laugh, it simply isn’t meant to be. Therefore, I hope that you are as goofy as me if not more. I want us to be able to randomly start dancing while grocery shopping. Things like that give me life.
Goals. I want you to have goals! Even when you think you have accomplished everything, I want you to have more goals. I want you to do things you love and never settle for a job just because it pays well. Although I want you to be able to take care of me, your happiness is more important. Never get content and stay somewhere for stability. Be willing to take risks and grow even if you are scared. I will always support you and if I do not agree with a decision you make, I will let it be known and we will figure out how to move forward. I never want you to feel alone, because once we get married we are one and our choices affect the entire family.
The most important thing for you to know is that I am not a gold digger. I have never been into materialistic items and I definitely value your time more than your money. I really hope that you will spend time with me instead of thinking that you can be busy all the time and buy me things to compensate. That will not work for me. For me to be happy, I will need a lot of time from you and attention. I am definitely clingy and needy when it comes to someone I love, so be prepared to spend a lot of time with me if you want me to be happy.
I am very corny and I like surprises. Remember that finding a random teddy bear on a random Tuesday will please me more than an expected Christmas Gift. I also love random text messages that are paragraphs long and hand written letters. As corny as these things sound, those things are what make my heart melt. No one has ever do any of these things for me. I have never dated anyone even half as romantic as I am, so please please please be passionate and romantic.
The one thing I value so much is consistency. I want you to always be consistent and never leave me questioning your love for me and the status of us. Just because we have been together for some years, I still want good morning texts and random phone calls checking in on me. Just because you have me, I don’t want you to get comfortable and take me for granted. I still want to feel as special as I did in the beginning.
I want you to accept me flaws and all. I am not perfect, but I want you to love me unconditionally and be faithful. I know men cheat for multiple reasons, but I want you to have the strength to remain faithful to me even when things are not going so well. I want us to be able to communicate and be transparent about any and everything I want to know how you are feeling and I never want us to go to bed mad. It is important to me that we resolve our issues quickly,always listen to each other and keep an open mind.
Please don’t ever lie to me. I really can not stand liars and I hope you feel like you’d never have to lie to me. I would prefer you tell me the truth than me finding out something later. Also, with holding information is the same as lying. As your wife I want you to feel like any thing can be shared with me. Don’t ever lie, because the truth always comes to light and I would hate and refuse to spend my life with someone who can not be honest with me/ others.
I want you to be a God fearing man. Church is VERY important to me, and I want you to have a strong relationship with God. I grew up in the church and definitely want my children to, so you not being a believer is out of the question. If we keep God first, I know our relationship will thrive. Going to church on a regular basis and praying together is a necessity.
Throughout our marriage, I want nothing but spontaneous moments, long talks and love. Love is the foundation of all, and I hope it grows and never dies. I would hate to have to go through a divorce, so I hope that we made the right decision and take the necessary steps to maintain a strong relationship. I love hard and will have your back no matter what, I just hope you can appreciate that:)