I never thought I’d end up being A Submissive (Sub).
If you are unsure what that means, here is a short explanation:
The definition of a submissive is a person who is consensually obedient and compliant to their partner, and who also likes to give up control.
I made an account on Hinge, because I wanted to find love.
But instead, I ended up meeting James.
James and I talked on Hinge for weeks. I was really feeling him, so when he asked could he call me, I quickly agreed. About thirty minutes into the conversation James explained that he is a “Daddy Dom”. I had no idea what that meant. Here is a great article to educate you on it if you don’t know what it means.
James explained to me what being a sub would entail, and I thought he was out his rabbit ass mind. What kind of self respected woman would agree to this dynamic? Signing up to be abused, degraded and controlled sexually just wasn’t something I was interested in. I told James I didn’t know, because I really liked him and wasn’t ready to end all communication. I went to see him two times and the rest was history.
I agreed to try this lifestyle out for many reasons.
- The consistency- Daddy hits me up everyday like clockwork. There is no anxiety of if I’ll hear from him or if he’ll ghost me. We are locked in.
- The perks- I immediately started to receive gifts (a tablet, purse, jewelry, gas money, money for food, etc.). No man has ever taken care of me like this especially so early on.
- The wisdom- Daddy’s advice and knowledge helped me get the best paying job I’ve ever had, fix my credit, budget my money, etc. He is invested in helping me improve myself and my life.
- The sex…. whew, the sex. I never thought being degraded and verbally abused would turn me on as much as it does… Although it was a smidge uncomfortable at first, by the second time we had sex I had felt bad for all the women I’d judged. I LOVE being a Sub and having someone so invested in me.
Some days are more intense than others. Being called stupid, worthless and being thrown around like a rag doll that’s forced to accept whatever happens (figuratively, not literally) would make me question my dignity and morals. Luckily, Daddy is really good with aftercare.
“In its most basic form, aftercare means communicating and taking care of one another after sex to ensure that all parties are 100% comfortable with what went down. That can include everything from tending to any wounds the submissive partner got during the scene, to taking a moment to be still and relish the experience.”
He tells me “I know that was intense Babygirl, but remember that you’re mine and I don’t hate you. You know I care about you right?” I would respond “Yes” “Um… what was that?” “Sorry, yes Daddy”. In the beginning I would think this is bullshit, you have to hate someone to say those things and treat them this way. But now I realize that’s not the case. It’s all about being sexually stimulated.
If you have been scared to explore certain things sexually, because of fear of discomfort or judgment, fuck it. You never know what you will end up enjoying…
Queen Media Collective 