Why do ya’ll keep doing this to me man? I keep telling myself I’m just going to chill back for a minute because sometimes I can be too much and it takes time to process. But hey, we’re here again, so let’s get to the fuckery.
I’ll tell you guys an actual hoe story. I was not the actual individual participating in the hoe activity, but trust me, it’s definitely a very interesting story that I know everyone will love to hear. First off, before we get started, thank you to everyone that has participated in this week’s theme. We love and appreciate everyone that has read our stories and shared them. So, let’s paint the scene for the story before we get started. I was in the military and let’s just say my friends were extremely wild and live like that constantly. These individuals were from California like myself, but we didn’t know each other until we met in the military. They were all younger than me by at least three to five years and they are all single so we all hung out together. However, we were on different paths in our lives, because I was the only married one in the group. Even though I was married my wife didn’t move yet, so she wasn’t living with me at the time. Therefore, I was still living in the barracks with my friends. The three friends involved in my story are Mike the southern friend and Tommy and Jason who are both from So Cal.
All three of these individuals were single and had no problems getting females and hell, maybe they were even sharing some females, but let me not ruin the story. So two of my friends shared a room in the barracks and that’s where most of the parties always ended up happening. So one night as usual, we were having some type of party for absolutely no reason. My wife being the absolute goddess that she is never had a problem with me being around my friends and their shenanigans simply because she is confident and has every right to be. So the party starts and it’s pretty much two studios with no living rooms of any type, so you must be in one bedroom or the other bedroom. The evening is going on as usual, it’s getting late and thus far it’s only like four or five guys, the rooms are packed with females and everyone is drinking. Meanwhile, I’m just chilling, sitting in my little chair, chit chatting with everyone around just checking out the vibes. Music is playing, everyone is having a good time and as it gets later and later, everyone is getting drunker. I’m thinking to myself like man, it’s hella dark in here. As I look around I notice girls are kissing each other and getting extra friendly. I instantly start looking for my friends like, “Aye bruh these girls in here acting like it’s something in their drinks or something ain’t nobody doing no rape shit right?” My friends all gather to assure me that everyone is drunk, but no one as far as the hosts of the party are doing anything like that and wouldn’t allow that to happen. I stay at the little party but I’m older than my friends so the old man in me starts to nod off at the party. But remember we are partying in my friends bedrooms so I’m like man, I’m about to just go to sleep right here.
So I’ve already fallen asleep, but I start to feel small movement and hear some voices. I’m still tired, so I decide to just lay there and pretend to be sleep, because I wasn’t trying to help them clean up right now. Once again I somehow doze off, but this time when I wake up all I hear is “Yeah, but now everyone is gone and y’all stayed, so why y’all bitches still got y’all clothes on?” I started hearing some giggling, it turns pitch black and I start hearing zippers and such. So I’m thinking, damn, I’m stuck in here and my homie about to have sex with a few of these girls by himself with me playing sleep in the room. But no. Something told me to open my eyes and I was fighting that urge for obvious reasons; I’m not trying to see the homie naked doing his thang. Then I open my eyes to an episode of trapped in the closet by R. Kelly, because not only is my friend having sex with like six girls, he’s not alone; It’s all of my friends having sex with these girls. I close my eyes in shock and disgust like I really just had to see all that, but what do I do now? Just sit in here and wait for everyone to finish or do I use my ninja skills and creep out the room slowly? It was that moment where I was awarded the MVP homie award, because instead of knocking my friends game off, I did what any sane man would do in that scenario. I grabbed me a couple of those hoes bras, balled it together into a pillow and went to sleep. Not all heroes wear capes, but most of the homies wear condoms and who am I to stop that experience and steal that from my friends?
Queen Media Collective 