Expected, but not Obligated: Access is a Privilege


No one owes you anything. 

Not their time.

Not their loyalty.

Not their energy.

Not even access to them as a person.

We take for granted the privileges that others allow of us. We are in no way entitled to anything that doesn’t belong to us. That’s why we should never dwell on what actions or behaviors we expect from others in certain situations. Would it be nice for life to be an even give and take? Of course, but it isn’t something guaranteed by a title, relationship, or years known. At any given moment, people are entitled to change their mind, their words, or themselves—without explanation. We can’t always expect the “us” from other people. Just because you’re willing to sacrifice or go above a limit for someone, doesn’t mean that it’ll be reciprocal. 

Reciprocity is expected but it isn’t guaranteed. Lately, I’ve had family, friends, and even co-workers feel like they were entitled to my time, my energy, or my space. The truth is that I’m not entitled to tell anyone when I’m happy, unbothered, or taking wins in private. I don’t own anyone updates about my life or what is going on with me. I am allowed to enjoy moments of my life without intrusion from peoples opinions, thoughts, or energy. Its taken me a while to accept and realize that I am allowed to grow without restrictions. I have outgrown places and people lately. Part of me struggles with allowing that change to take root. I expect people to grow with me or in the same manner in which I have. The bitter truth is that sometimes you have to end chapters. Some chapters are harder to close than others, but nothing comes from stagnation. People that I love dearly just don’t align with what I want or need to grow in this season. The moments that once excited me are now  distractions to my bigger picture. I am not allowing people to overstep the boundaries of what keeps me at peace. I will not allow anyone to make me feel guilty about decisions directly related to my happiness. 

People aren’t entitled to the best parts of you. You don’t have to provide your every move or thought  to appease others. Its normal to set boundaries. Its normal to celebrate yourself in private. Its normal to disconnect from people without providing them with clarity. No one is owed an answer to any decision or choice made. The bitter truth is that we have to save the best parts for ourselves sometimes. 


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