At some point in our lives, we’ve been exposed to people that aren’t who they appear to be. Sometimes they’re our friends, coworkers, or even our family. They show up to our events, like our posts, and even give their “genuine” advice. They appear to love us so genuinely. However, all love isn’t what we perceive it to be. As the year closes, I’ve witnessed people that I love genuinely show me that the feeling wasn’t mutual. The crazy part it was in nothing they said, but in everything they did. They pretended so well that my happiness was important to them. I gave them space to hold within my life and they used that space for ulterior motives. However, I’ve grown to realize that fake love is flattery. Flattery is defined as excessive and insincere praise to further one’s own interests. We’ve all can recall one friend, who really didn’t give a fu*k about us unless it benefited them. These are the same people that won’t mention your name in a room full of opportunity. Even the ones who will criticize you for doing something, but applaud someone else for the same thing. Yet, they may not even be this far gone either. Fake love even refers to the person that wants you to do better, but just not better than them. The person who shows up for you only to attempt to outshine you. It may even be the person who supports you, but finds a way to tear you down in the same breath. Fake love is a funny thing though. In the sense, that people will admire you so much to the point they turn on you. Fake love is all about admiring what someone has going on for themselves while hating that it isn’t you.
At one point, I took fake love offensively. Until I realized the love aspect is real, it’s just the way they show it is false. They have to pretend in the moments when you’re genuinely happy. They have to put on a facade when others clap for you. They desire what you have, but refuse to acknowledge the work put in to obtain something. Want to know the difference between a hater and someone who shows fake love? With a hater, it’s obvious and evident that they don’t care for you. They don’t pretend to like you. Any feelings they have towards you don’t have to be deciphered. However, fake love requires a person to dislike your every move, but KEEP UP with you. They have to maintain that personal relationship with you in order to have insight into your life. I’ve come to realize that a hidden enemy is worse than an open one. Why? You never know the day when that love turns for the worst. You never truly know what moment made them feel like you were competition. You’re just left with figuring out their intentions, figuring out the jokes that aren’t really jokes, and questioning their actions. Does that change who you are or how you love others? No, not at all. It just provides you with insight on how to navigate in spaces where people haven’t grown to appreciate who they are. Most times people will envy you in silence because its easier than admitting their inadequacy.
So don’t get frustrated when the mask falls off from people around you—just flourish. Continue to walk in your truth, love how you do, and move in a manner that keeps them surprised, but unsatisfied. After all, flattery is the best form of imitation.
Queen Media Collective 