Monogamy Or Polygamy? (PART I)

Monogamy or polygamy is the question? We are going to get straight to the point in this article. Believe it or not polygamy has been around for centuries; but is it beneficial for millennials in today’s world in the black community? I’m going to share my personal preferences in this article, and the potential pros and cons of monogamous and polygamous relationships. If people are willing to communicate, work things out, and keep all parties on the same page then any relationship is possible. However, monogamy is still seen as the norm in black communities, but is it really? I am going to talk about how monogamy has been the norm in recent times, but how polygamy is normal around the world except in few countries like the United States of America.

Let’s get right to it. I respect both monogamous and polygamous relationships. When I was younger I was hell bent on being a monogamous person. I will probably delve into monogamy at some point in my life, but as of right now I would like to be with two women simultaneously, because I believe the trio could work with the right women. There would have to be clear communication from all of us, and of course guidelines would need to be set before we enter into that type of relationship. We could possibly balance each other out, and accomplish things faster economically compared to your typical monogamous relationship. I do understand that this lifestyle isn’t necessarily “alive” in America, but I would most likely move to a more accepting country of polygamous relationships/marriages before I would dive into one. Also, I feel like there would be a lot of balance in our relationship, especially if we were all compatible. Furthermore, we could help each other out with our weaknesses, and pick each other up if one of us is stronger in a certain area of life.

Now the real question is, can this type of lifestyle or set of relationships work in the black community in the U.S.? I’m going to go out on a limb and say most definitely. If you look at the black community in today’s world you will see that many people are already living this lifestyle. The problem is a lot of folks are lying to themselves and resorting to cheating and lying instead of being honest about their desires and wants in this life. I was talking to a friend about monogamy verses polygamy and the conversation was quite deep. I told her jokingly that monogamy wasn’t for me because I like variety, and I feel like having two women’s perspectives in our household would elevate our kids minds.

You would not only have different sexual partners in this type of relationship, but it would challenge your communication skills and maturity level. I would personally love both women equally but differently according to their personalities because we are all different. I would let them know that just because I love y’all differently based on your personality doesn’t mean I love one of you more than the other. I mean I love chocolate chip cookies, however sometimes I crave sugar cookies. Just because I want some sugar cookies doesn’t mean I don’t love chocolate chip cookies; it just means sugar cookies have my attention right now. However, sometimes I need both because one without the other is not complete.

I haven’t forgotten about the monogamous folks who are reading this. Let’s chat about the benefits of monogamous relationships. I won’t say whether monogamous relationships are better than polygamous relationships, I’ll let you decide that. Monogamy has been a staple in the black community for many generations in the black community in the U.S. Most black people have grandparents or parents that are still married or have remarried. A lot of folks have followed this tradition based on the preconceived notion that one person can complete us. They believe that these relationships are most beneficial for raising a family, having a healthy marriage, etcetera. These relationships are built on trust, exclusivity, honesty, and integrity. The main difference in these relationships is it is with one person instead of three or maybe even four people.


With this being said, if this is the way we should go why are divorce rates so high in the U.S. and infidelity rampant in the black community? I will let you come to your own conclusion; but some folks may not be built for monogamous relationships. Some people may think that monogamy is not for them because they need to have sex with different people. Maybe those folks should just be single in all honesty. On the contrary, if you’re looking for a relationship with honestly, integrity, exclusivity, etcetera but with multiple people; than polygamy may be for you. If however you don’t want the relationship aspect at all, then maybe relationships all together are not for you. At the end of the day it comes down to what is best for you.

As you can see I was leaning towards polygamy a little bit in this article, but I do see the pros and cons in both the types of relationships. I will write another article on this topic, because I just touched the surface of the topic. In part two I will discuss if polygamy should be accepted amongst black americans, and if monogamy is outdated in our generation. I will also discuss another component to these relationships that you can find out about in my next article. Thank you for reading, and I appreciate all the feedback I have been getting lately from my articles.


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