Queen Media Collective

I’m going to get a little personal with you all today and if you don’t like to talk sex I suggest you exit left…

Throughout high school I knew there would eventually come a time for me to have sex, which I did at the age of 16, but I never thought about giving head or having a man go down on me, which is something that comes along with sex. To me, it was probably the nastiest things you could do at that time and I was not going for it. You’re probably thinking, how can you let a man enter you but be afraid to wrap your lips around his dick? I guess you can say I felt like that was going to a whole new level of intimacy that I wasn’t ready for. It’s hard to explain but there’s a different level of comfort I have to be at to have my face in another person’s private area.

Now that I’m a 28-year-old woman that’s gained some experience in the field of all things sex I can comfortably talk to you about the time I wanted to give up getting and receiving oral sex FOREVER.

Up until I was 18 I stayed far away from giving head until I met this guy who was practically obsessed with it and felt that if we were going to be, “fuckin’ with it” aka talking to one another, it was something I needed to be doing. I eventually gave in to it and it only made me hate it more. It wasn’t the act that turned me off but it was the outcome of it all.

Basically, one night he came to visit me in my apartment complex and of course my naive ass believed we’d have some car therapy, laugh a little bit but instead he had other intentions for me, which included my mouth and his private part, which might I add I couldn’t stand. His pubic hairs were horrible and I couldn’t stand looking between his thighs. His face might have been attractive but I could have gone without seeing his lower region. After some convincing he finally got me to go down on him, which I didn’t enjoy but that wasn’t the worst part. Since I was new to giving fellatio I had no clue that when a guy’s penis jumps that it meant he was about to cum. So as I’m doing my thing this guy straight cums in my mouth without saying a word, no kind of warning. It took everything in me to not spit it back out on him as I struggled to get the car door open. I felt so violated, kinda like Issa did in Insecure when Daniel gave her an eye-shot.  I never tasted sperm before but I knew it wasn’t supposed to taste like toxic-fucking-waste and he had the nerve to be mad at me for not swallowing. After that experience with him every time I came around him I couldn’t even get into it. I can even remember the time he tried to kick me out of his house for not going down on him as if that was going to make me give in. It was so uncomfortable and from that point on I was completely turned off from giving head and made it clear to the guys I dealt with it wasn’t something I wasn’t into doing…

Gosh, even when it came to being ate out, I wasn’t for it either. I can remember turning down guys a countless amount of times because the times I had it done I was disgusted by it. I thought it was supposed to be something that was pleasurable but instead I felt like my lady box was receiving the sloppiest kiss in the universe and I’d be left with a fucking yeast infection and let’s just admit it, that’s the last thing you want to get because some guy thought giving head was solely spitting all over your vagina then slurping it back up. Just gross.

Oh but just when I thought I had given up on oral sex, giving and receiving, I came across someone who made it enjoyable for me. I was seeing things in a whole new light and I was addicted to pleasing my partner. It got me thinking that it wasn’t that I didn’t like oral sex, I didn’t truly like the person I was doing it with. Being connected with someone on all levels; spiritual, mental and physical, only makes the sex better. Plus being with a man who has healthy eating and drinking habits makes you want to swallow every drop he releases. I can remember the moment I finally told myself I’d swallow and I blurted out, “Omg, it taste good.” It was definitely an LOL moment.

Moral of the story, don’t be afraid to suck that dick (not all just the ones that matter) you might have had a bad one but it gets better. If it’s your man, which hopefully it is, and he doesn’t taste the best, hand him those gallons of water and hook him up with some meal preps. If he wants to continue to get head he can at least take the steps to make it enjoyable. Also, it’s okay to teach men/women how you like your lady box ate. Speaking up is the way to go.