I have decided to give my opinion on interracial dating after many requests. My opinion is simply this…. people are people. People tend to date inside their race, because that is what they’re comfortable with. Dating outside of your race means someone may have different customs and traditions than you, among other things. I personally have mainly dated black men for this reason. I could list many examples of times when men of another race have questioned me about something we do that confuses them. However, as an African American woman, the most irritating questions are questions about our hair…
“How does a weave work?”
“Why don’t you just grow out your real hair?”
“Why do you have to put a scarf on at night?”
I try to avoid these questions at all costs… how? By dating someone who understands… someone who probably has a mom or sister with a weave or extensions who knows exactly how it all works and why I need to wear my scarf lol. However, I now see that dating someone similar to you is taking the easy way out. Sometimes it’s exciting to discuss the unknown and intertwine two different worlds. Overall, I feel like there’s no reason to limit yourself to a specific race.
This whole debate makes me think of the movie Something New, starring Sanaa Lathan. This movie was about a black woman who unexpectedly fell for a white man after a blind date. Everything is going great, but she gets so annoyed with people’s judgment and his ignorance to black culture that she ends up breaking up with him. This movie is the perfect example of how you should be open minded. Throughout the movie Sanaa Lathan’s character is fighting her love for this man just because of his race. In the end, she realizes she wants to be with him after she begins dating a black man that she has no connection with whatsoever.
I love this movie, because it illustrates how you can find love from someone completely different than you. Prior to seeing this movie, I was more close minded about who I would date, but this movie opened my eyes. If someone is black, brown, white, purple who cares? As long as they make you happy. If they are ignorant to something in your life/ culture, educate them, don’t get frustrated.
Being African American, I hear a lot of people argue that non black men appreciate black women more and treat us better. I also see memes suggesting the same is true about how white women treat black men; “Stop arguing with Raquisha, and get you a Lauren.” Initially I agreed that someone non black would treat me better than a black man. I would think a black man won’t appreciate me…most of them have dated multiple black women, so I am not special. I see the common infatuation and intimidation non black men have for black women and it made me think man if I date someone non black, I will finally be treated how I deserve. A couple of my friends and I swore off black men and vowed to only date white or Mexican men to finally get the treatment and respect we deserve.
However, I realize how stupid it was for us to think like this. How someone treats someone is not based on race, it is based on the individuals and the connection. We have to stop making these generalizations and categorizing people. As much as everyone complains about racism, we are all apart of the problem. Have you always wanted to date someone outside your race? DO IT! Who cares what people say? At the end of the day the same judgmental people are miserable, so do what makes you happy…and watch the movie! It really is a great example of finding love in the most unexpected places.