He already fooled me twice, so when he came back around for the last time, my guard was way up. The first two times I ignored almost every red flag there was. I was adamant about giving this man the benefit of the doubt because of our long term chemistry, but he was damaged goods. Believing that we could make it past anything beyond friends was something I could no longer do.
After many years friendship, this man did the worst thing that a friend of the opposite sex could do. He entered a new relationship and spoke so highly of our bond to his partner to where she got extremely jealous. RED FLAG. I didn’t know to what extent her jealousy of me was until she applied to work at my job in the same department and got hired to work the same position as me. RED FLAG. Her intention was to clearly see if he and I were involved or communicating in any way. She somehow thought that she would be able to control our interactions by trying to keep up with me at work, and of course him at home. Huge RED FLAG.
Prior to this woman working at my job, she reached out to me from his phone and threatened me to cut off all communication with him. I laughed. Hard. But again, RED FLAG. The good thing about this whole mess was that I didn’t ignore any of the red flags. I allowed her to look like the crazy person she was, and still continued to do my job. Of course I didn’t trip about her not wanting me to talk to him while they were dating but I just had to know why I was such a big factor in their relationship. I really needed to know why she was so pressed and the only person who could give me those answers was him.
So of course, I reached out to him. I didn’t hesitate to let her know that I would be contacting him either because what was she going to do? Fight me? At work? If I had to come to work everyday and watch this girl watch me because she was so insecure about her man I was going to find out from the source what he put in her head.
I gave him the floor and asked all the questions that needed to be answered. What did you tell her about me? Why was I mentioned? How does she know where I work? Why is she so pressed? Why does she think we are more than friends? This man had the audacity to play the oblivious role as if he never shared any information about me with her. He really wanted me to believe that she dug up most of the information about me herself. My reaction to all of his weak responses was boy please, whatever!” because everything she knows about me came directly from you. I just needed to know why. It’s not like he was cheating on her with me and our past was really far in the past so I just didn’t understand.
SInce most of my questions weren’t answered to my satisfaction, I just summed up the whole situation as a RED FLAG. Both parties made me realize that having male friends as an adult is pointless. He wasn’t even an ex but unfortunately because we had a physical past we couldn’t move forward all because of his psycho girlfriend. I ultimately ended up moving on to a new job that paid much more and left her there still wondering if he and I had something going on, which we didn’t. Two years later, I moved to a whole different state and guess who the very first person to come visit me? Now I should have definitely denied him the privilege to come visit me because of all the previous RED FLAGS. Instead I let it fly to get my lick back and enjoy myself for the very last time just to close our final chapter with a bang.