Hey my loves! Happy Pride to Black trans-women first, then my fellow Black lesbians, and everybody else too! Most years, Pride Month would ignite a bunch of memories about coming out but this year is different. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been waking up feeling gay gay (shoutowt to my Fiancé) or because I’m over taking a traumatized approach to my story, but here we are. (note: the history of harm inflicted on Queer identifying individuals is by all means traumatic. However, I want to experience my story from a pleasure centered perspective…at least that’s this year’s mood).
Anywho, Misha’s Room brings you Intersextional Thinking: Committed to Pride! In this article, I’ll share a few easy, tangible ways to support the gays that DO NOT include buying something with a rainbow on it. I hope you both enjoy and execute!
- Give them money
- I know, I know we’re still in a pandemic. The process of searching for a job is dusty. Debts are high and funds are low. I get it. I also don’t care. Buy your Queer colleague lunch or a coffee (tea for me). Slide your gay cousin $20 for gas. Leave an extra tip for the lesbian server at your favorite resturant or even pick a few queer people to CashApp (Zelle, Venmo, or Paypal) a couple dollars. It doesn’t have to be a large lumpsome of money, but offer fiscal support. We all know money talks, so let your dollars say “Even though the world pays you poorly, Happy Pride!”
- Interrogate your own homophobia
- Take some time to ask yourself a few questions and think deeply before settling on an answer. How do you feel about same sex public displays of affection? Does the thought of children witnessing queer couples on dates or romantically interacting seem off putting to you? Do you struggle understanding why a feminine presenting queer colleague uses the pronouns “he/them”? Find out why. The only way you do that is through introspection. Engage in some deep thought about the foundation of your beliefs then ask yourself if their actions really have anything to do with you. (and you not wanting to “see” it is your own problem. Look away).
- Buy their shit
- I can name a PLETHORA of gay business owners that I’m sure are more than willing to accept more customers (I’m one of them. Click here for Misha’s Merch). If you’re looking for a new nail tech, try out the nearest gay owned nail salon or even purchase some press-ons from a lesbian online. Try the trans tattoo artist for some new ink. Grab drinks at the local gay owned bar and dinner from a queer eatery. Planning a Summertime photoshoot? Ask me about a phenomenal bisexual photographer (that travels)! I also have a list of queer artists ranging from New Orleans, LA to San Francisco, CA; let me know what you’re looking for! Rather than spend $100 on corporations that capitalize on Pride month, support real people doing real things while really trying to make it in this heteronormative society.
- Mind the business that pays you
- Literally one of the easiest things in the world. If you do not profit (since that’s one of the major motivating factors in this capitalist society) off of sharing your unwarranted opinion on someone else’s existence, then keep it to yourself. One trick I use to help me process others’ life/existence is to remind myself that each person experiences life differently. It applies when I think about why some people eat condiments on sandwiches and I despise it; it also applies when people wonder why I eat pussy when they couldn’t fathom the thought.
- Be an accomplice: friends dont let friends be homophobic
- Being an accomplice is a stretch further than each one teach one. This includes not letting your friends be homophobic. It means you actually have to say something. The word accomplice has a negative reputation, but I view it as a person who is willing to stand up for their teammate. Although the role of an accomplice gets tough (especially when it comes to financial and physical sacrifices), it’s necessary to help normalize (and dare I say humanize) human beings. For example, my approach isn’t always welcomed in communities that I am not a member of yet the same message could be well received from someone they relate to or share identities with.
Hopefully this list of tangible ways to support the gays gives you an idea of how to celebrate Pride 2021! Another opportunity to support queer organizers is by going to your local pride or traveling to other cities to join in the celebrations! Black Pride NOLA is July 2nd-4th and I’m kicking it off! Intersextional Thinking: Invitation to Play is a collaboration between Misha’s Room and Goddess Empire designed to support individuals in purposely pursuing pleasure. Grab tickets to the Black Pride NOLA kick off event by clicking this link! See you in the city!