Tolerance: the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.
And let me tell you something… I’ve been tolerating some of these mutha’s for far too long.
I do my best not to come off as a bitch. I smile, I laugh and overall do my best to be as cordial as I can, but it is tiring. The energizer bunny couldn’t even tolerate the amount of shit I have for this long. In most cases I would completely eliminate a person out of my life; act as if they never existed and go about my day. Sadly, I can’t treat every situation or person in that way. Some of these people I’m attached to for life even when I don’t want to be. Thinking about it makes me mad and sometimes even sad.
How is it that I let so many people have this kind of control over me? A control I feel is impossible to get away from when I know I need to rip myself away from it. Quite frankly it’s toxic as hell and it may be a feeling I’ve become accustomed to; I don’t like it yet I still tolerate it. A lot of the shit I deal with, the people I tolerate it from wouldn’t give me a pass, but it’s something in my heart that says stick it out a little longer; maybe they’ll change their fucked up ways and be more open to other people’s views/feelings. Most times they aren’t.
Shit I’m mad at myself for being aware that I’m accepting of all the disrespect, entitlement and dramatics. Makes me feel like I’m the person with the issue. I know I have a few, but I swore I grew and moved on from dealing with the constant bs. Maybe me having so much tolerance is part of my growth; me working on not ghosting people completely and being a bit more understanding than I’d usually be. After all you never really know what a person may be going through that’s causing them to act like a complete ass. Either way I’m over tolerating people. It’s not worth my losing my peace over.