No More Settling for Less

How important is it to have standards? When I talk about standards I am referring to dating.  I am referring to everything not related to someone’s physical appearance. The problem that this generation faces is that people want to be in a relationship so desperately that they will put all their preferences and standards to the side. Do not get me wrong, I understand the Marilyn Monroe quote “if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” There is nothing wrong with dating someone who has not achieved everything you would want them to achieve. But at the same time, you should respect yourself enough to date someone with at least a couple things going for themselves. Let’s face it- if you are around the same age as me there is a low chance that you’re life is 100% together. But having goals and showing actual effort to achieve them shows a lot about someone’s character. Females in particular are so quick to make statements such as “He has to have three things a car, a job and his own place.” But in the end, they have not even attained all three. When I say have some standards I want people to be REALISTIC. Not being picky and missing out on good opportunities, but not settling just to have that title.

Some people will argue that it is important to be open minded and fall in love with someone for who they are not what they have. While I do agree that being open minded is a good thing we are at an age where we should be settling down in the next couple years. With that being said, dating people who are unproductive and insufficient should not cut it. A lot of times people try to help and encourage others to accomplish their goals, but at the end of the day they have to motivate there self first.  I was always that girl throughout high school and college dating “scrubs.” I would say to myself and everyone around me “I can fix him, he will change, he will get a job, he will figure out his life.” Fast forwarding years later, most of my exes are still in the same lazy unproductive mindset they were in 4- 7 years ago. For this reason, I encourage young women and men to date someone who at least has a plan for their life and a good head on their shoulders. Disregarding things like abuse, disrespect and lack of motivation and goals are not good signs for someone you want to settle down with. Everyone wants to be loved and in a relationship, but it is better to remain single and patient than to waste time. I think back on how many relationships I was in, just to be in and all the time I wasted. Time is valuable so if someone does something that rubs you the wrong way or does not fit into the vision you have for yourself let them go!

You really have to sit down and think about how someone is benefiting you. As corny as it sounds, I have previously made those diaphragm circles we had to make in elementary school to compare characters in stories and filled in the pros and cons of my relationship. It is kind of lame but it works! You get a visual representation of your relationship. Lower your standards for no one and make sure that standards are present first and foremost. Once you establish a set of standards, it is easier to recognize when someone is not worth your time. Try it and see how much time you save.


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