I had been hanging out with this frat guy for months now and we finally decided we no longer wanted to keep our sneaky links a secret. Though I was excited about going on the date, in the back of my mind all I could think about was, “Is this man about to make me pay for my own ticket and snacks?” It was the last thing I wanted to think about, but it was the first thing on my mind. As we got closer to the theater, which was just a short walk away from the campus, I finally built up the courage to ask him if I had to pay my own way. Trust me when I say I was prepared for him to say yes, but instead he gave me this crazy look and was like, “girl didn’t I ask you on this date? I’m going to pay.”
Most women wouldn’t bother asking if the date was being paid for because common sense should tell you that the person who asked, should be the person that pays, but once I hit the age of 17 I started to realize that men weren’t built like that. On one too many occasions I’ve gone somewhere and the person I went with didn’t bother pulling out their wallet, not even for themselves.
I can remember the very first time it happened to me:
I was talking to this guy; not very affectionate at all, yet there was something about him I was attracted to back then. If I seen him now I’d probably act as if he didn’t exist. Anyways after months and months of meeting in cars and staying stuck in the house watching movies, he asked me out on a date to La Piñata. I was like, Yassss bitch we’re getting somewhere. So, the day comes and I go to pick him up from his house. That should have already been a red flag. He was 2/3 years older than me and he didn’t have a car. Since I liked him, I ignored it. We get to the restaurant, talk, eat and then the bill comes. Now here we go just sitting at the table looking at the bill. He doesn’t reach for it. He barely looks at it. So finally he goes, “You gonna have to pay for us.” I swear after that I was traumatized. First of all, you have no car, didn’t offer me no got damn gas money after that long ass drive I had to make, and on top of that, I didn’t even ask for this date. I was so done!
Now, I’m pretty independent and I don’t mind spending money on someone I’m dating or even going 50/50, but there are rules to this dating thing:
Rule #1: If you have no intentions of paying for the date, please do not ask that man or woman out. It’s just proper dating etiquette.
Rule #2: Come prepared! Do not purposely leave your wallet at home. Anything can go wrong. They may have never had any intentions of paying the full bill or you just might be a horrible date and they no longer want to pay your way.
Rule #3: DO NOT pick the most expensive thing(s) on the menu, especially on the first date. Everyone does not got it like that AND if you don’t got it like that, DO NOT pick a place you cannot afford. Don’t go trying to take your date to McDonald’s either though.
One thing to note, just because he is a man doesn’t mean he is obligated to pay for you. If the date was your idea then sweetie you need to dig in that purse of yours. I see this debate so much on social media that it’s starting to piss me off. Another thing, don’t be letting your friends tag along if they aren’t paying for themselves. YOU were asked out, NOT your crew.