It’s funny how something so easy could be so difficult for some. During my session with my life coach, I had quite a few breakthrough moments. One of those breakthrough moments was that I don’t cheer for myself like I do for others. I’ve heard of others admit to doing this. They would be the biggest cheerleaders for others. They would effortlessly cheer and champion the success of their family, friends, and even strangers yet they never do the same for themselves. I’ve heard a few stories about these types of people. However, I didn’t think that I was one of them.
I shared with my life coach about how I felt robbed of my “last day moment” when my old job closed down suddenly. During my explanation, I told him about the joy I felt witnessing two of my former co-workers became EMTs. One was our senior server who was a single mother of two children who wanted more out of her life than waiting tables. While thinking of other potential career choices she’d like to pursue, she decided on becoming an EMT and enrolled in the course at a local community college. As months passed, she confided in me that she had turned in her two weeks notice. It was a bittersweet feeling because we had grown quite close during out time working together yet I was excited for her because after years of grinding at the restaurant, her time was coming.
In the case of my other co-worker, he was a good guy who had two bachelor’s degrees. He was also trying to figure out what to do next post graduation career wise. He decided upon becoming an EMT also and completed the course. He ended up leaving as well. I was very much excited for him as well! I was so proud of my former co-workers and can truly say that I rooted for them all the way. I discussed with my life coach some of the opportunities that I have coming up (QMC being one of them). “On a scale of 1 to 5 with 5 being the highest, how much would you say that you deserve these opportunities?” He asked me. I gave myself a rating of 3.5. Soon after, we preformed an exercise where I was instructed to close my eyes and say what I wanted from these opportunities. While I was able to mention a few things, I failed to execute like I thought I would or expected to. After the exercise, my life coach pointed out how when talking about my two former co-workers, I was filled with joy discussing their individual journey accomplishing their career goals but struggled to mention the things I wanted for myself. He pointed out how I struggled during the exercise which I did.
Aside from the few things I did mention, I couldn’t fully call out what I wanted into the universe. It was a cross between trying to fully articulate what I wanted, trying to think on the spot and……being afraid. I was afraid to tell the universe what I wanted out of fear that it may sound dumb or may be unattainable. Then came the line that would ultimately become a bombshell, “You’ve been missing out on you.” He told me. I never would’ve thought of that. Never in a million years would I have guessed that I have been robbing myself in this manner. All these years, I’ve been cheering and genuinely happy for those around me when they made advancements in their lives. I was quick to encourage others to follow their dreams and goals meanwhile, I wasn’t doing the same for myself.
Simply put, I stopped dreaming. I especially lost that ability in the past couple of months due to everything that has currently taken place in my life. Now I’m on the path of dreaming again and rooting for myself like I have (and still do) for others. In fact, that was a part of the homework assignment given to me by my life coach. To dream. As simple as it may sound, it’s not easy to do all of the time but I am definitely going to do it! No longer will I miss out on me. To you the reader, I hope you follow suit and learn to root for yourself if you haven’t started to already. Learn to dream again!