* Please be advised this is an advanced review. The episode will be released on December 9th on Seeka.tv *
I must say that this episode was hard to watch for me. Every negative thought, word, action and reality of the way that black men and women perceive one another came out in this episode. It made me cringe when I watched it but it also made me sad at the same time.
How can we have the same struggles, the same hardships, experience the same hurtful dialogue being thrown at us and STILL be so hateful and prejudice toward each other? It was hurtful to hear some of things the characters thought about each other without a second thought. Furthermore them having the audacity to have hope in another race to understand us, build us up or even understand what its like to be a walking target on a day to day basis.
The hardest part for me is that both sides had some clear points that I could fully agree with. For instance, as Dr. Nigel Hawthorne explains how black women are drawn to the drug dealers, athletes and gangsters. So the perception of the black man is clouded because mothers give sons the notion that this is the way of life to be successful. I understood his feeling that the black man is not capable of more than that. I too feel like sometimes not just black mothers but us as a community limit the capabilities of ourselves. There are more things in the world that can be accomplished than the stereotypical careers. We have to embrace that man that would rather pick up a book than the blunt, someone who has an eye for the fine arts or enjoys classical music. It makes us different and we shouldn’t be judged by those things.
I can relate so deeply to Dr. Lilith Alexander, when she explains accountability. Although we as black women have strong minds, we demand our voices be heard even if the delivery of our message can come from a scarred place. We can’t hold all of the burden for the choices that black men make. Sometimes pointing the finger at who’s to blame is the person staring back at you in the mirror.
I know as a black woman, I have personally been someone who has babied a black man but because of my natural independent nature I have probably pushed someone into the arms of another, and for sure another race.
The moment in the episode that really blew my mind is the strong hate for one another that has thrown both of these intelligent black individuals into the arms of another race. I see this often and I always ask myself “What does this solve?” Running to a race that has no idea what we go through, how or what to say in times of racial injustice, and simply catering to the needs of our insecurities instead of trying to build us up and work through our mental and emotional scars could never truly be done.
This was an amazing episode and I applaud Alonge Hawes for his willingness to speak and show a visual representation of some of the everyday thoughts that we as a people have.