I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, stop blaming other people for your actions. Life is all about choices and you cannot be mad at the world because you made a choice that left you in a position you didn’t think you’d end up in… In this case I’m talking relationships.

The reason I’m even bringing this up is because this whole Cardi B and Offset situation. As we all know, Offset has pretty much been cheating on Cardi B since the beginning of their relationship and as the saying goes, “Once a cheater always a cheater,” (note that I do not believe in this saying all the way but I’ll save that for another time) getting married did not stop him from committing adultery. When Cardi announced on her IG that she’d be getting a divorce from her husband Offset, he had the audacity to write under her post, “Y’all won.” It really made me scratch my head and roll my eyes to the back of my head, because sir, what the fuck did we win? the world wasn’t the ones playing a game called, “How many times can Offset cheat on Cardi before she leaves?” It’s like guys always try to turn their indiscretions around on the women they are with or blame them on everyone else but themselves.

I can remember the first time I finally found my voice and opened up my eyes to the reality of what was going on in my relationship. John was so used to me being naive and letting bullshit slide that when I finally opened my eyes and realized what was really happening in my relationship , I started to voice my opinions; I was no longer scared to keep quiet out of fear that the relationship might end. Well, that relationship definitely ended because I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t want to level up in life, someone who was fine with disrespecting me, my loved ones and fooling around with other women. AND when I say fooling around I don’t always mean sex. Entertaining another woman or man while in a relationship is still  considered cheating to me because you’re giving the other party hope that you’ll step out on your significant other. BUT anyways when that relationship came to an end, all the blame was put on everyone else for what happened. It was as if he didn’t think any of his actions caused the demise of the relationship.

No relationship is perfect and no one person in that relationship is perfect but the more you lie and cheat, it’s more than likely the relationship will fail. As a woman I’ll say this, as much as we hate the truth we hate being lied to even more. All we ever really want is honesty and for men to own up to what they’ve done. Nothing kills me more than a man who can’t take responsibility for his actions ESPECIALLY when it’s all out there on front street for you and the world to see. Think about how embarrassed your partner may feel knowing that you went outside of the relationship for whatever reason. AND when you think about the reason you stepped out or lied don’t put all the blame on your partner, her family or her friends because almost anything can be worked through and everyone has a choice. Be honest and say I cheated because I know longer wanted to be with you but didn’t know how to leave the relationship.

With that being said, guys aren’t the only ones who do it. Take me for example, I was in a relationship and by the time I was over it, I made up every excuse for why I cheated. We’ve seen it happen on the popular show INSECURE.  First it started with we never have sex, then it led to complaining about how he’s always with his friends and never home. Or the famous, “he isn’t doing anything with his life,” line. I put all the blame on him instead of owning up to what I did. I chose not to communicate my frustrations with him always being gone and leaving me at home. I chose not to tell him that I knew he was rushing to tell his female friend all our issues, which lead me to thinking well, he’s practically cheating so I might as well go all the way with someone else. Instead of taking the time to possibly work through our problems, I decided to blame him and the people involved to justify what I was doing. So, instead of telling the world they won when things go south, take a step back and look at what you’ve done.

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