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You know I love the OWN show Love is_____ . I personally think it is a near perfect depiction of the current state of black relationships. In particular folk 35 and under. Some people would complain that the show is over sexualized. I would say that our relationships are over sexualized so the show got that right. But the main point is it has  Romance! BLACK ROMANCE!!

We have the black man only knowing the girl because his homie was infatuated with her and was intimidated to ask her, her name and it has a black man courting the woman. Fellas when the last time you asked a woman out and actually courted her???? Not in the DMs but in actual person. Have your most recent intimate encounters involved romance?

Fellas this is mostly our fault! For starters I don’t think black men are the only guys that struggle with intimacy and romance in the bedroom. However, this blog is about making “US” better and that is where my focus lies with all of my posts.

If you ask most black women in America when was the last time they experienced romance in the bedroom, the answer would most likely be “it’s been a long time”. The reason behind this is complex but the short story is that romance isn’t required anymore to have sex with a woman. They have become accustomed to going without; and now you would be pressed to see instances of romance in the bedroom on TV or anywhere really. That fact should not stop us black men who are interested in doing better though and I am here to help you change the narrative on this topic.

Whether you are single, married or in a committed relationship, romance should ALWAYS be a part of your repertoire; and here are 5 reasons why:

  1. Women love to feel special – telling a woman you love her and that she is special to you is one thing and showing her is another. A man who wants to be better will always do both.
  2. Women love to out do their friends – If you provide a romantic experience that supersedes what her friends have experienced you win.
  3. It’s good for you too – Black Men often have issues with expressing emotion. Being romantic gives you the opportunity to show her how you really feel about her.
  4. Makes you a better lover – I don’t know about you but I personally want to be the best lover in the world. Changing it up and adding romance will definitely make you a better lover. DO IT
  5. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOMEONE ELSE WILL – If a woman feels neglected in ANY WAY the probability is high that she will seek someone else to fill in those gaps. REMOVE ALL GAPS fellas.

Now I understand that sometimes it’s hard to come up with romantic ideas that are both creative and don’t cost you a bag of dough! But fellas, I am here to help you with a surefire plan that not only sets the new standard for your relationship but will also ensure that her panties are drenched before you even touch her.

THE PLAN (There aren’t too many things more attractive to a woman than a man with a plan)

Situation – This plan is best for those with a significant other but will work in most relationship types. Also, should be used for special occasions like bday, vday, etc.… or randomly (my choice).

Place – Your place. You have all the control over the mood in your own place. Control is king because the one with the control gets the credit!

What does it improve – Romance, Intimacy and Foreplay

What you need:

  • One week Meal Service Box (Hello Fresh, Blue Apron, Etc…)

Hello Fresh Box. Save 70% on a Hello Fresh Meal Plan (Click Here)

  • Fresh organic strawberries – Get these from your local organic food market i.e. Whole Foods, Trader Joes, etc.… black women are ahead on the organic food game and you will get points every time if you have produce from these places.
  • 1 bag of Chocolate Chips and 1 bag of White Chocolate Chips (get the brand that you like the most)

  • 1 Bottle of Wine – For White, get a Moscato (Try getting a unique brand (although she may be happy with a Barefoot wine you should step it up). Anytime you put her on to something new she will remember it forever.

Idea Link: Del Poggio Moscato (Click Here) .

  • If she is more into Red try a bottle of Jam Jar.

Idea Link: Jam Jar (Click Here)

  • For a different look try a Prosecco (Bubbles make her feel good)

Idea Link: Mionetto Prosecco (Click Here)

The Execution

Arrange a simple Netflix and Chill night with your lovely. When ready, put on the playlist and start making the meal together. The TOGETHER part is very important and the meal boxes are great because not only do they give you everything you need, they detail every step you need to take via pictures and video if needed. Take turns doing each step so that each of you are equally involved in preparing the meal. During this stage have normal conversation with just the occasional touch. Also, feel free to have a glass of wine or herb (whichever y’all prefer).

After your meal, it will be time for your dessert which will be chocolate covered strawberries. Now I chose the least expensive and simplest recipe for this but you can get as elaborate as you want with the ingredients here.

How To Make Chocolate Covered Strawberries

Feel free to get as messy as possible during the dessert making process (chocolate covered kisses are the best btw).

After enjoying both the chocolate and chocolate covered strawberries, she is ALMOST ready for the coup de grâce. Play this song from  Spotify or YouTube.

Daniel Ceaser – Get You

Now pull your lovely close and slow dance with her. By the second verse vertical foreplay is in order. By the end of the song the panties should be ready for removal (because they are drenched lol).