As I slowly approach 30, I’m starting to realize that it is getting harder and harder to find someone to date without children. I am not knocking people who are parents, I think it’s amazing, I just have no interest in having a blended family or dealing with a crazy baby mama. I know that some people are able to successfully co-parent with no drama, but the one time I did date someone with children the situation was a hot mess.
I really liked Noah. He was sexy, smart and very laid back. Besides that I truly felt like I had a new friend. He was very wise and the kind of person you want to have in your corner. He lived in Sac, but whenever he could make his way to the Bay, we would make time for each other. Hell, I even went to see him a couple times, even though I dreaded the hour and 40 minute drive. Months had gone by and I couldn’t believe I caught feelings. He had a two year old daughter and dating someone with children was like my number one NO NO. In addition, Noah would constantly tell me stories about the mother of his child. She sounded CRAZY AS HELL! Allegedly she got pregnant as a result of a drunk night when Noah cheated on his girlfriend. According to Noah, she didn’t tell him about the baby until the baby was some months old. I was thinking RED FLAG, but stupid Michaela continued to entertain this man.
Over time I started to want more from Noah. It annoyed me, because he was sending me mixed signals and I had no clue how to react. He told me that him and his baby mama would argue about me and I was like dude ya’ll aren’t together so what is there to argue about? He claimed that she was obsessed with him and would get upset that he didn’t want her. I told him they needed to figure out how to successfully co-parent and make it clear that he didn’t want her. I would listen to him vent about her antics and it was starting to be exhausting.
Long story short I started to distance myself and eventually started seeing someone else. After that shit went left, Noah and I reconnected immediately. A couple months later, Noah called to tell me that he just found out that he had gotten his baby mama pregnant AGAIN. I was like WAIT WAIT WAIT.
What happened to her being a crazy bitch? What happened to you not being attracted to her anymore? What happened to ya’ll being platonic friends?
I couldn’t believe him. Then this man had the nerve to say it happened, because he didn’t have me anymore and he was horny one night like BOY BYE! Who do you think I am boo boo the fool? He claimed to have used a condom and accused her of using a turkey baster to impregnate herself after “throwing away the condom.” I told him that he didn’t have to lie to me, and he claimed that this was legit how it went down. This was just too much but guess what? I kept talking to him.
Months had gone by and Noah’s baby mama had went to jail again for abusing him in front of their daughter. Apparently this had happened before. As a result, they were ordered to go to therapy and anger management classes. To top it all off this negro had moved in with her after “unexpectedly” getting evicted from his apartment. His baby mama had a second room in her apartment and he was allegedly renting that room from her. He claimed he was miserable and hadn’t touched her since getting her pregnant, but I didn’t believe that BS. He told me he loved me and that was when I knew I had to end this for good.
Even after I stopped dealing with Noah, his baby mama was back at it again with the tom foolery. I was receiving blocked calls for three weeks straight! The person would listen to me breathe for a few minutes then hang up. Turns out his baby mama got my number from his phone and was playing games. I was furious! Like who does that? He shut it down before I had to take a drive to Sac, but ultimately that confirmed even more why I don’t want to date a man with kids.
I felt like no matter how much he “loved” me his baby mama was always going to be a factor and I hated that. We would be deep in conversation and he’d stop everything just to answer her phone calls. I knew they had children together, but still… I didn’t like playing second fiddle. And honestly I believe that two people with a child will always share an emotional connection and potentially be physically involved again. I’m selfish as hell when it comes to dating so I know that regardless of how the relationship is between the two, I want no parts. What are your thoughts on dating someone with children? Go awf in the comments!